This jokes

The bright side of this pandemic is now both my hands look equally chapped and raw.

Police: Hey man, look at this! *throws cocaine at fan and it flew back into his face* Me: Are you okay? Police: Looks like I "crack"ed the case.

One day I was at church. I had to sit down. I said, "Who in the world stinks?" I looked down. Turns out it was me, and this is not a joke, but funny.

Looks like URL encoding is enabled for special characters inside comments. Good job to whoever developed this website!

What's one thing you can say about your house, but not your girlfriend?

"I wish it were this color, why is it leaking there, I need help trimming the grass I mean bushes, I own it."

Thanks Ethan for all you've done. We've both made mistakes when all is said and done, but just thanks for being a good friend. This is officially my last post on here, Ethan-Real 1.

What did the hurricane say to the coconut palm tree?

Hold on to your nuts, this one's gonna blow!

I was playing hide-n-seek with my dad and he hid, but I could never find him till this day.

This is 15 first-year treating a swan.

Students return: "Without payment?"

The word "I die with many important problems."

Later, you answer this point: "DSD, rats?"

Hey, pass me that crowbar, please.

Sure... y’know, before the crowbar was invented, crows had to drink at home.

This joke is so corny I could eat it off the cob.

Why don’t autistic people like Autism Speaks?

They’re jealous that autism can speak.

(This is not meant to be triggering, sorry if it is).

I am so disappointed in this race.

Brown skinned street shitters, goddamn, the lowest of the low southeast Asians, lazy monkey pig-dog duck fetus eating rice brainlets always on their phones, no IQ, ugly, uncivilized untermensch subhumans.

My brother tried to hit this guy with a plane and but hit the Twin Towers.

This year the London marathon was run on your hairline. It was so far back no one could complete it!

This town ain't big enough for the one of you.

My friend: I want to cut myself.

Me: No, don’t do that. *hands lighter* Do this instead.

Stacy: Honey, I'm kinda new to texting, what does lol mean?

Justin: I'm not sure, "lots of love," I guess.

Margaret: Stacy, are you there? I don't know if you heard, but Amber and her three kids were killed in a car crash this morning. I'm in total shock!

Stacy: lol

According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way that Keagan's FIFA team should be this terrible, also the problem is that Keagan is a Real Madrid fan.

"This is the dude who assassinated JFK."

"If you got a question, just shoot!"