So I got my son a trampoline for Christmas this year, and he was so ungrateful, like he just sat there crying in his wheelchair. What has this world come to?
What will Reddit be without the robot logo?
Reddot.
If someone calls you, reply with this: “Hi, this is Dave’s orphanage and pizzeria, where yesterday’s loss is today’s sauce! How may I assist you today?”
So this one time I saw Sally trying to get up after she fell off the swing, and I helped her up and she said "Thank you," and I said, "You're welcome." The next day I saw her legs and someone said, "I would not do that," and I said, "Whatever." I tapped Sally, and the top halve fell. I said, "WHAT HAPPENED TO SALLY?" And someone said she went in a minefield.
Two businessmen bought the Milwaukee Bucks for $500 million. They are very excited about their transaction, for this is the only legal way to own black people.
This is the true worst joke ever:
What did the person say to the other guy when he met him?
Hi!
Riddles not jokes.
What has 4 legs but cannot walk?
What has bark but no bite?
There's a one-story house in which everything is orange. Orange walls, orange doors, orange furniture. What color are the stairs?
What has holes but can carry water?
What is in front of you, but cannot be seen?
What is something you have inside you that is pink, but cannot be seen?
What can you catch but not throw?
And last one:
What can rule, but not command?
Tell me the answers in the comments.
Like 90% of this was from this link: https://parade.com/947956/parade/riddles/
One more thing: Don't google it or search it up, use your brain to answer these.
If we get this to 1000 dislikes, I will do TWO joking keggars on Halloween.
So what are you waiting for? Hit the button, idiot.
If there was a quiz on midgets, here’s the Midget quiz and the questions that would be on it:
1. When midgets get high on any drug, do they get high or medium?
2. Do midgets come out the closet or the cabinet?
3. Are Midgets related to Snow White’s 7 Dwarfs?
4. Is a midget just a human without the mushroom in Mario?
5. Was this funny?
Deja-poo.
The sense or feeling you have dealt with this crap in the past.
Lol, 1 week anniversary of me being on Worst Jokes Ever...
J0K35: *LETS START A JOKING KEGGAR*
A Joking keggar is where I get you drunk with some jokes, only on a special occasion.
Okay, y'all ready to get drunk with raging jokes? OK LETS GOOOOo
What do you call an LGBTQ+ disc jockey?
A DG (dee gay)
What does lava use when it can't walk properly?
A volCANEo
What do crackheads do when a black man got brutalized?
They start a HIGHot (say it like hi-ot, _riot_)
What is Satan's favorite DJ?
MarshHELLo
What do neck breakers use?
Snapchat
What did Twitter and Reddit eat with chocolate and marshmallows?
Instagraham crackers
Is this the last joke?
No
What is similar between a dog and my ex?
They are both commonly known as bitches
What number has a flu from a pig?
Nine flu (swine flu)
What did the loaf say when he was playing hide and seek?
BREADY OR NOT? HERE I GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Who is the best anime girl?
Well, it's pretty obvious 02 is on the second rank
Why did Sally get caned?
Because old men hurriCANED.
That was all
OR WAS IT?
Yes, it was (Come back on Halloween for another Joking Keggar)
Guy: "My life is like a game, I should end it."
Guy 2: "Is it a hard life?"
Guy: "Yup"
Guy 2: "Then you can't kill yourself LOL"
Guy 3: "Hold on, I know a cheat code to finish the 'game'"
Once again, RIP Daniel Kyre, he actually died this day five years ago.
He attempted suicide Sep 16, and was in life support, till his parents made the tough decision of taking him off.
We will miss ya bud..... (cyndagoooooooo)
A "type person" is addicted to eating sugar.
When the doctor saw this, he said,
"From Type 2 Diabetes!"
Get it?
You know what to do with this?
Get it to the same amount of dislikes and likes!
So I came across a guy who was carrying a ton of clothing and makeup.
And I asked him what he is doing.
Guy: Some kawaii girl told me if I bought and brought her this crap, she would let me play with her tits.
Me: Erm... Are you a simp?
Two minutes later, the guy arrived at Kawaii Girl's house.
KG: You have it?
Guy: Yup, now can I play with them?
KG: Sure!
KG then went to her room.
Guy: Ohhhh, I know what your going to do. You're gonna call me over and you will be-
KG then held a bird cage with two birds in it.
KG: Have fun playing with them!
Guy: WHAT THE FU-
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because these jokes are not funny.
Here's why the chicken crossed the road...
The chicken was on the run from a crazy-ass butcher ready to murder the poor thing, so the chicken crossed the road. The chicken was crossing the road, then a blind kid saw the chicken, and the kid was hit by a flying rock, his vision was blurred (what vision?) and was actually cured of the blind. The chicken ran and jumped into a truck's opening and was never seen again... The kid got up from the ground and looked at the road, to see the chicken was not there, and said..." The chicken crossed the road...." The kid yelled at everyone about the chicken crossing the road and got a lot of positive attention. Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and Reddit were full of the chicken nonsense and gained widespread attention from N.A to Asia in only 1 day.
The butcher was arrested for the attempted murder of a joke animal and was sentenced to over 20 years in solitary confinement, and a few weeks later, the sentence was moved to a life sentence, and the butcher became known as The ChicKiller.
The End (hope you enjoyed, I was bored so I made this shit...)
A no legged manager runs the nearest pizza place called Your Pizza Is A Joke.
I (J0K35) worked there and this happened...
Manager: WHY ARE THE PINEAPPLES IN THE TRASH?
Me: Because nobody eats fucking pineapple pizza.
Manager: THAT'S IT! I'M KICKING YOU OUT OF THIS PLACE!
Me: You can't kick me out.
Manager: Why not? Huh?
Me: Because you need legs to kick, and you don't have any.
Little Johnny was sitting in class, and he was behind a girl called Sally. The teacher asks the class, "Who created the Earth?" And Little Johnny pokes Sally in the back with his sharpened pencil, and she jumps and says, "MY GOD!" And the teacher says, "Yes, Sally, God did create the Earth." Sally sits down.
Then, the teacher asks, "Where do you go after you live a good life?" and Little Johnny pokes Sally again, and she jumps up and says, "HEAVENS TO BETSY!" And the teacher says, "Yes Sally. You will go to heaven after you live a good life." Sally sits down, knowing full well Little Johnny was poking her. Sally gave Little Johnny an angry glare, and she turns around.
And then, the teacher asks the class, "What did Eve say to Adam after their 77th child?" and Little Johnny pokes Sally HARDER this time in the back, and Sally jumps, turns around and says, "If you stick that thing in me one more time, I swear I'm gonna lose it!" And the teacher faints.
There is a feminist group in my town.
It is called Gal-Qaeda.
(I actually got this from The Simpsons, so credit to the show.)
This boy was in school one day when he became desperate to go to the bathroom. So he asked the teacher, “May I use the bathroom?”
The teacher replied, “No, not unless you say your alphabet.”
So the boy said, “a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z.”
When he finished, the teacher asked him, “Where’s the p?”
The boy replied, “Half way down my leg...”
