Think jokes

Did you know that Germany came up with sparkling water?

Who else would think of adding gas?

Little Natalie was playing with matches. Her mother caught her, took them, whupped her, and told her never to play with matches again.

A few minutes later, Little Natalie was playing with matches again. The curtains caught fire, and the house burned down.

Another few minutes later, when she and her mother were sitting at their neighbors', her mother told her: "If you think I gave you a whupping, wait till your father gets home!"

Little Natalie just cackled with delight because she knew her father had gotten home earlier and gone upstairs to take a nap.

Yo mama is so stupid, she thinks Bear Grylls is a restaurant.

I tried to think of how lighting works.

Then it struck me!

So, a guy is walking with a young boy into the woods.

Boy: "Hey mister, it's getting dark out and I'm scared!"

Man: "How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone!"

Statistics show that 1 in 3 people live next to a pedophile. However, I think that's a lie because I just live next to 2 stunning 8-year-olds.

What's brown and sticky?

What did you think! A stick......

Yo mama is so fat when she sees a bus full of white people, she thinks it's a Twinkie, lmao xd.

Why did the legless kid think he won a race?

Because everybody already left.

I still remember the last words my grandpa said before he kicked the bucket. He said, “Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?”

I don't think anyone even checks these jokes.

What do you call a woman who thinks she can do anything a man can do? Wrong.

I'm so gay I could barely think straight.

They say watching child porn will get me 20 years in jail. I prefer to think of it as two 10-year-olds.

I've just started reading my first ever Braille horror story, and I think that something scary is about to happen. I can feel it.

Some people are like a software update. When I see them I think, "Not now."

A pedophile and a little boy are walking into the woods late at night.

The little boy says, "I'm scared."

The pedophile says, "You think you're scared? I have to walk back alone!"

Today someone was killed with a starter pistol. Police think it might be race related.

I think my coworkers are gay. -- Every time I walk by, they mumble, "What an ass."

I was sitting next to this really hot Thai girl on the bus, and all I could think to myself was, "Don't get an erection, don't get an erection..." But she did.