Thing jokes
Jantje goes on a walk with his grandmother. Jantje sees 1 dollar on the street and picks it up.
The grandmother says: "Hey, Jantje! No picking up things from the floor! They are ugly and bad!"
Then they keep walking. The grandmother slips and asks Jantje to help her stand up. Jantje answers: "No! Everything on the ground is ugly and bad."
You know what would be the best last thing to say before you die? "No, you certainly can't." JFK's assassin certainly can!
What was the last thing to go through Princess Diana’s head before she died?
The steering wheel.
A computer usually has a HARD drive. LESSON. No wonder they remember things.
Why is my sister so annoying? Because put your own thing in.
The top worst thing for an orphan, and probably the most awkward one, is when they're having sex and the other person is calling them "mommy" or "daddy."
Rape jokes are the funniest thing to ever exist.
Why do orphans pick apples? Because that's the only thing they can pick.
The best thing about an orphan? They don’t have to suffer from "your mama" jokes.
There are two kids sitting in a classroom: Lily and John. Lily sleeps in class every day.
The teacher asks Lily who made heaven and earth. John pokes her with a pencil. She shouts, "Jesus Christ Almighty!"
The teacher says, "That's right."
The teacher says the next day she asks the same question. John pokes her with a pencil. She shouts, "Jesus Christ Almighty!"
"That's right," the teacher says.
The next day she asks Lily what did Eve say to Adam after their 100th. John pokes her again. "If you stick that thing in me one more time, I'mma break it in half!" she shouts.
What do you call a disabled Asian?
"Sum ting wong."
Some girl just walks into my 6th period geography class. The first thing I think is, "Oh shit! It's mini Regina George without titties!"
What's the most common thing between Hitler and an emo?
Hitler knows when to kill himself!
So I'm reading Hamlet, right? And then this one page they like, "Yo, like, Hamlet the fuck t tgo foff off KING speak, yo" 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 truth ong fr 😂 Face with thing is funny or... 😂 😂 😂 😂 the
What's the last thing emos feel before they die? Rope burn.
What is small, black and yellow, and drops things?
A fumble bee.
One thing about disabled people is they never set foot in prison.
Listen, Man United might not thank me but get the contract out, put it on the table. Let him sign it, let him write whatever numbers he wants to put on there, given what he's done since he's come in. Ole's at the wheel, man. He's doing it. He's doing his thing. Man United are BACK.
If I don't find a reason to live soon, my ceiling fan isn't the only thing that's gonna be hanging from my ceiling.
When I see your face, there's one thing I want to change.
The direction I'm looking.