They jokes
Who are the fastest readers?
911 victims, they went through 72 stories in less than 10 seconds.
Did you know why they added Alexa for Stephen Hawking?
Why can't melons get married?
Because they cantaloupe.
Q: You know what's morbid at a storage sale?
A: They give you more bids.
Q: Why do men say "ladies first?"
A: So they can look at their a**.
Whenever you think back to 9/11 and realize there are 12 hours in front of us, why the f*ck didn't they warn us?
They laughed at my crayon drawing.
So I laughed at their chalk outline.
I can't believe my friends. They killed themselves without me!
Who are the Fastest Readers in the world?
9/11 victims: They read 87 stories in 10 seconds.
When you're mad, you might as well just punch an orphan because what can they do, tell their parents?
Who are the fastest readers in the world?
The 9/11 victims, they went through 700 stories in 10 seconds.
Why do orphans have phones?
Because they don't know how to call home.
I don't usually like to tell 9/11 jokes for two reasons: they're morally wrong, and they tend to crash and burn.
I met a drum circle once, they were a huge hit!
A man walks into a bar and says, "Ouch!"
And the women look at him as if they have never seen a man walk into a bar before.
Did you hear about the new doggy condos?
Apparently they are now releasing!
Q: Two skeletons walk into a bar. What happens?
A: They fall.
(They walked into a BAR, as in a rod or whatnot.)
Why can't orphans go to homecoming? Because they don't have a home to go to.
How do goldfish know when to eat?
They don't. They have a memory span of 3 seconds.
Why did the Red Sox lose?
They say, "Boo, Colorado Rockies."