They jokes
Tell the person next to you to spell "me." When they do, say, "You forgot the D." They should respond with, "There is no D in ME." You say, "Not yet." If this does not go as planned, well, then you are fucked for life.
What's a similarity between Harvey Weinstein's pants and American bombs?
They both drop unannounced and leave mass casualties.
Why can't Oregon go to the doctor?
Because they need parents' signature.
Who are the quickest readers in the world? 9/11 victims. They went through 34 stories in 4 seconds.
Why are the Twin Towers mad?
They ordered burgers, but what they got was plane.
Two friends fighting.
Friend 3: "Cut it out, you two!"
Friend 4: "It wouldn't help if they cut it out... Believe me... I've tried..."
Think about how many more girls we guys could get if we talked to them how we talk to other guys, like when they say, "Can I borrow a pencil?" You say, "You can borrow this hard wood dick."
Who are the world's fastest readers?
9/11 victims; they went through 91 stories in 11 seconds.
We don't joke about orphans unless they have family. Then we assassinate the family.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They don't know where home is.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they don’t have a home to run to.
If you are going to bully anyone, then bully an orphan, because what are they going to do? Tell their parents?
Why can't orphans make dad jokes? Because they don't have one.
What does an orphan and a wheelchair have in common?
They can both be replaced.
What does a blind man crying and an unplugged TV have in common?
Nothing can be seen when they get turned on.
What do the Twin Towers and a bad joke have in common? They never land well.
What did the parents rearrange the furniture to punish a child?
Guess he was a stupid blind motherfucker 🖕 that didn't even know how to use a cane to figure out where they put the furniture.
What did the Turkey say to the other Turkey?
"They forgot the stuffing!"
"Hey, I heard you were a bit down—where's John?"
"He died."
"Oh, I'm so sorry, but I got you food."
(After they eat) "Hey, how did John taste seasoned and cooked?"
Why are Liverpool not disabled friendly?
They never walk alone.