They jokes
Why can you bully orphans?
What are they gonna do, go tell their parents?
Why can Chinese people play baseball? Because they ate the bat.
What do Miss Reeves and Michael Jackson have in common?
They both have a touchy feeling for kids.
Why were the Twin Towers annoyed?
Because they ordered pepperoni pizzas, but all they got was plain.
Why can’t orphans win trophies?
Because they can’t take them home.
Memes
What's the difference between a drill and a priest?
Nothing, they both like screwing stuff!
A person laughs every day.
"Man," they say, "I'm glad I'm not an egg, otherwise I'd just CRACK MYseLf uP!"
Why do they call priests "father?" Because it's too suspicious to call him "daddy!"
I went to the bank to apply for a Personal Loan.
Then they found out I wanted to be a rapper, so they didn't want to Post M"loan."
Quit making those progeria jokes. They get old very quickly.
Have you ever tried Ethiopian food?
Neither have they...
Why do penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they don’t have pockets. I’m
Why don’t they let Stephen Hawking have other electronics around him? Because he will sound staticky.
Why do black people call each other brothers? Because they don't know who their fathers are.
Teacher, there are 3 birds. 1 gets shot. How many are left?
Student, none. They flew off because the shot scared them off.
Teacher, actually 2, but I like the way you think.
5 minutes later
Student, there are 3 women eating ice cream. 1 is licking it, 1 is drinking it melted, and 1 is sucking it. Which one is married?
Teacher, the one sucking it?
Student, no, the one with the ring, but I like the way you think.
A man dies and goes to Heaven. He sees a bunch of clocks and asks Jesus what they are for. He replied they are gauges, and that they move when people lie. He said that Mother Teresa's has moved twice, Abraham Lincoln's once, and George Washington's never.
The man asks to see the current president's, and Jesus just laughs and says that Joe Biden's is the one keeping the hurricanes to speed.
When in Poland people go to a house party, and the atmosphere is bad, nobody is talking, they say: "Is there a German here?"
So in class, they were learning about where food comes from:
Teacher: So kids, where does bacon come from?
Student: PIGS!
Teacher: Correct. Where does mutton come from?
Student: SHEEP!
Teacher: And finally, here’s your homework.
Student: IK where that comes from!
A FAT COW! 😂😂
Why did the orphan become a prostitute?
They wanted somebody to call "daddy."
Johnny: Why do cuss words exist?
Mom: That's not something you should think about right now. I'll tell you when you're older.
|| 20 YEARS LATER ||
Johnny: Mom, now can you tell me why cuss words exist?
Mom: Because some people invented them so that they could use them when something annoying happened to them.
Johnny: Damn, Mom, you shoulda told me that when I was still seven 'cause now I really feel like that person.