They jokes
Dad: Son, do you want to play Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robots?
Son: Sure, let me get it from the closet.
Dad: No, bring your sisters. Just like the game, they can’t move their legs.
The worst comedians take 9 months to make a joke. Then they spend the rest of their lives trying to forget it.
Na, don't be mean to fat people. Oh wait, never mind, they can handle the weight.
Jokes are like Indians.
They never die, they just get reincarnated.
Why are people from New York so bad at chess?
Because they quickly lose two towers (rooks).
Memes
Why are orphans so bad at poker?
They don’t know what a full house looks like.
I once saw a one-handed man in a second-hand store. I told him, “I don’t think they have what you’re looking for, sir.”
How do rappers stay warm in the winter?
They drop FIRE TRACKS.
What do alcoholics and amputees have in common?
They are both legless.
How is a priest like a wristwatch?
They both start at 12.
Today on a drive, I decided to go visit my childhood home. I asked the people living there if I could come inside because I was feeling nostalgic, but they refused and slammed the door in my face.
My parents are the worst.
What's the difference between the milkman and my dad?
Nothing, they are both one thing except he never returns with milk.
(I've been eating cereal with water COMBINATION!)
Q. What do they call an ISIS terrorist who owns both a camel and a goat?
A. Bisexual.
Did you know that a majority of the U.S. is afraid of the dark?
Especially if they are right behind you at the ATM.
What do Viagra and Disneyland have in common?
They both cause you to stand around for an hour waiting for a two-minute ride.
What do gay men and drug dealers have in common?
They both get a lot of crack.
Yo mama so fat, when she went to a dating service, they ended up matching her up with Pittsburgh.
Q: Why are lesbians bad at math?
A: Because they can't multiply.
what do baby’s and grenades have in common?
They both are silent but then when thrown at someone make a loud noise
Why were the people on the World Trade Center so pissed?
People, they ordered pepperoni pizza, but they got plane.