They jokes
One day, a chicken went to the nail store. He asked the "owner" where the shampoo was. "BRO IM NOT THE FRIKKIN MANAGER!" the guy said. So the duck walked away.
The next day he went back to the store and asked a pregnant lady why she was so fat. The lady punched him and ran away. The duck cried. Then he went to the lady's husband and said that he must be tired of being married since she punches people every day. The man punched him. The duck assumed they were the punching couple. The duck walked, and then fell in a ditch and stayed there to die. The pregnant lady and her husband were very pleased >:) muhahahahahahaha
What is the difference between cum and milk? Nothing. They are both white and tasty.
Why are Americans bad chess players?
Because they lost two towers.
What happened to the police that crossed the road?
They solved a murder involving the nut case.
Why do orphans only have 363 days in the year?
Because they don't have a mother or father's day.
What's one thing you should never ask a suicidal person? "Are you okay?" because the next day they'll either be dead or have a lot more cuts than they started with.
To those who are dead now, was it fun?
Friend: Hey, let me give you a little riddle. There's a table [for] four people who are supposed to sit [at]. There is you, me, Will, Mary. In which order will they sit?
Other friend: Uhm, you, me, Mary, and Will?
Friend 1: Nope, guess again!
Other friend: Okay, what about "Will you marry me?" Oh, wait...
Friend 1: Of course!!!! :D
America saying they are more stupid. Russia saying they are more stupid = the stupidest war.
Why can't an orphan play baseball? They don't know where home is.
I went up to an orphan and asked where their parents were--they stared.
Why were there two boys on the bay?
Because they were gay!
What's the difference between my dad cumming and cancer?
Nothing, they both stain.
Why are Americans such good chess players?
Because they lost two towers.
Someone stole my grass today. I went to the police, and they said: "What's wrong?" I said, "How could you tell something was wrong?" They replied, "You were looking forlorn."
One knight, a king, and a queen went fishing. They each caught one fish, so how did three fish end up in the bucket?
One "knight"!!!
Why do orphans play tennis?
It's the only way they get love.
Why does a robot malfunction when they get sad?
Because they have a break down.
What did they do with Michael Jackson when he died?
He got so many plastic surgeries that they melted him down into legos and let kids play with him for a change.
Why are there only 363 days on an orphan's calendar?
They don't have Father's Day and Mother's Day.
Why didn't the wife want sex?
Because they were having too many babies.