Don't listen to people when they say you have a dad bod. you don't. You have a father figure
What do the Twin Towers and genders have in common?
There used to be two until they divided into multiple pieces.
Whats a prostitutes favourite snack? Skittles. They love to taste the rainbow.
Why do Black people go to a confession stand at the Catholic Church?
They wanna know what it’s like to speak to a father.
What does a gynecologist and delivery driver have in common?
Whenever they’re hungry, they can just scrape a little cheese off the top of the box.
Why can’t Americans play chess?
They lost 2 towers.
Why are orphans so bad at baseball?
Because they can’t get a home run.
Why can’t orphans have phones Because it has a home button
Why don’t orphans play baseball Because they can’t get a home run
What does a paleontologist and woke people have in common? They both enjoy digging up the past
Straight people ask why gays have such a good fashion sense.
They have to come out of the closet sometime.
At the job interview, they asked me, “Where do you see yourself in five years?” I told him, “I think we’ll still be using mirrors in five years.”
I once saw a one-handed man in a second-hand store. I told him, “I don’t think they have what you’re looking for, sir.”
Why was 2019 afraid of 2020? Because they had a fight and 2021.
I was excited to hear Apple might start selling its own cars until I learned they wouldn’t support Windows.
Someone complimented my parking today! They left a sweet note on my windshield that said, “Parking fine.”
I don't get why bakers aren't wealthier. They make so much dough.
Did you know that the first french fries weren’t cooked in France? They were cooked in Greece.
Did you know your pupils are the last part to stop working when you die? They dilate.
How do rappers keep themselves clean?
They drop SOAP BARS.
Whats the difference between a priest and MCDonald's? They both stick their meat in 10 year old buns
