They jokes
I went to a handicapped comedy club, but all the jokes they told were special, and they didn't know a lot about stand-up at all.
They didn't know where to put the orphan. He was returned from the hospital he was born from; the parents gained one cent, while the orphan gained potatoes as friends.
How many police officers does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. They wait for it to turn itself in.
What do George Floyd and an astronaut have in common?
They both have very little air to breathe.
What do hockey players and cops have in common?
They both use sticks to hit something black.
A pair of Newfoundlanders, watching TV, saw endless big-budget advertisements for mass-produced American beer.
One Newfie turns to the other and says, "They say that stuff is the biggest seller in the States, but I don't see what the big deal is." So they buy a bottle, pour it into a plain jar and decide to get an expert opinion.
They send a sample to a lab in St. John's to have it analyzed.
A day later, the lab results come back: "Your horse has diabetes."
They say people can have a sharp mind. Yours is like a dull knitting needle.
When they said sin was ugly to look at, I didn't know God would use you as an example.
What's one way to drain someone's ego?
Hand them a mirror, and say they should see how ugly they turned out in life.
I complained to my landlord that carpenter ants were getting into the timbers. He was dismissive.
"They're Karen Carpenter ants, they don't eat much of anything."
A pair of Newfies decide to visit Toronto. They drive through Nova Scotia, through New Brunswick, through Montréal, Kingston, Oshawa... then they see a sign that says "Toronto Left", so they turn back around and go home.
How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two, but they're very tiny and we're not sure how they got in there.
Are your hairline and forehead friends? Because they go way back.
What do Diddy and Turkish men have in common?
They both use lots of oil.
Why are S and U never thirsty?
They drink tea (T).
Your family is so cheap that they won't even pay for the child support to keep you.
Your family is so messed up that they shared one brain cell to have you even exist.
I don't joke about paraplegics; they wouldn't be able to stand up for themselves.
Are those tears real or are they like you? Fake.
Why do Jews suck at mugging?
Because all they ask for is the spare change in your pockets.