They jokes
Why is it easy to weigh a fish?
Because they have their own scales.
Why is it easy to weigh fish?
Because they have their own scales! 😂😂😂😂😂😂
What do George Washington and a beaver have in common?
They both have eyes.
Why can't orphans be gay? They got no one to call daddy.
Why can't orphans have gay sex?
They have no one to call "daddy."
Why are cows such great dancers?
They have all the best moooves!
What do strippers and peanut butter have in common? They both spread for bread.
If you're ever bored, just punch an orphan. What are they going to do, tell their parents?
Why can't orphans play cricket?
Because they can't find home.
What happened when your parents dropped you off at the orphanage? They got sued for littering.
Beans for centuries have been called "false friends," because they have a tendency to talk behind one's back. If you get my drift. 🤣
why don't emos live alone?they like to hang with their freinds.
Funny jokes are like kids with autism.
They have special needs to make them.
What war game can the French win? None, they are always losing.
Why can't homeless people be gay?
They don't have a closet to get out of.
Ever heard of a rape victim with Alzheimer's?
Yeah, neither have they.
Why are emo kids the best jumpers?
Because they never fall down.
My girlfriend told me that she wonders what our kids will look like.
No, they will be wondering what I look like.
Jack quietly crawled through Jill’s bedroom window, trying not to make a single noise. She sat on her bed, her back facing him. Jack tiptoed up behind her, laid his hands on her shoulders and said, in a rather sensual tone,
“Boo.”
“Jack!” She yelled, “what are you doing here?”
Jack sat down next to her and smiled.
“I figured today was a good day to maybe go up to the hill?” He said.
“That sounds fun,” said Jill.
“C’mon, let’s go!”
The kids climbed down from Jill’s second story window. They frolicked around in the fields, hair swaying in the wind, as they neared the nearby hill. Jack took Jill’s hand, and they skipped up to the very top of the hill. They sat down on the bright green grass and giggled.
“You ready?” Asked Jack.
“Ready as I’ll ever be,” Jill replied with a wink.
Jack laid his hand on Jill’s chest, softly pushing her onto her back. He got down on his knees, and bent down to the bottom of her dress.
“I’ve waited a long time for this...” he whispered.
Jack slowly pulled up Jill’s dress with one hand, running the other up her thigh. His anticipation was building faster and faster. He looked her in the eyes as he slowly pulled down her panties. Once they were all the way off, he turned his head downward. His mouth opened, his eyes went wide. Jack was speechless. Before he could say anything, Jill slammed his head down, gagging him with her giant cock. She sat up as she slammed his head up and down. Jack began to feel dizzy as he gagged and coughed.
“Silly Jack, didn’t you know? I’m not Jill. I never was. My name’s Randy. You’re mine now, Jack. So sit back, enjoy the ride.” Said Randy.
Randy moved Jack’s head faster and faster as he threw his head back. It was coming, fast. All of a sudden, he stopped. Jack’s head stood still as his mouth became a fountain of white, drizzling all over Randy’s legs and onto the grass. Randy let go and Jack jumped back, spitting and trying to get it all out of his mouth. Just as the dizziness began to fade, Randy walked over. The last thing Jack saw was Randy’s fist hurtling towards him...
What do Phillip Adam and Kurt Cobain have in common?
They both used their brains to paint the ceiling.