They jokes
What hates socialism but still uses roads, police, and says they support the military?
Dumb right wingers.
Your mama's so fat, when she asked for a water bed, they put a blanket over the Pacific Ocean.
What do Rubik's cubes and melons have in common?
They have a history of separating colors.
Why can't orphans breathe? They are drowning in their own tears.
Why does an orphan go to church?
So they can call someone "father."
Q: How are Clocks like Pedophiles? A: They both stop at 12.
Why can’t you trust an atom?
Because they make up everything.
Here's what to do if an annoying person keeps talking to you. First, ignore them until they ask you if you're going to respond. Then ask them: if they were walking down the street and a rabid dog suddenly started barking at them, would they get on all fours and bark back? After that, continue to ignore them.
Never let an orphan watch Fast and the Furious.
All they will talk about is how great their family is.
The Romans conquered Africa, they conquered Europe, they conquered Britain, then they stopped. They probably ran out of conkers.
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they have no one to call "Daddy!"
Why can't an orphan get caught on the hub? They have no parents to catch them.
Why didn't the Twin Towers order cheese pizza?
They like pepperoni, not plane!
Why can't orphans bake?
They don't have milk.
I call my friends Dodo birds. Because they don't exist.
What do orphans do after they win a game?
Nothing, they have no one to play games with.
Good news, people! Michael Jackson is still alive. They found him hidden away in a goat pen with all the kids!
I love telling good news to my patients, like they survived the crash but their family died.
Why do cows have big [udders]? Because they have big balls.
Ha, orphans are soooooo funny. I mean, they have many family stories. Oh wait...