Me: What is the difference between your mom and a mosquito?
Friend: Let me guess, they both suck you.
Why do orphans want to be gay?
So they have someone to call "Daddy."
Why did the teenage girls travel in odd-numbered groups?
Because they can't get even.
Why can't orphans play sports?
They don't know what a home team is.
Why can't orphans go to a friend's house?
Because they can't make themselves at home.
Why can't orphans play football?
Because they can't be on the home team.
If you're ever bored, rape an orphan. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
Don't criticize someone until you've walked a mile in their shoes. So, when you criticize them, they won't be able to hear you from that far away. Plus, you'll have their shoes.
Why don't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't run home.
Kid: Why aren’t koalas considered bears?
Nerd: Because they're marsupials.
Kid: No, because they didn’t have the koala-fication!
If you execute someone in ventricular fibrillation in the electric chair, will they come back to life once and then die?
Cousin: Hahaha, I am their biological parent.
Kid: So what? At least they love me more.
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they have no one to call "daddy."
Why can't orphans have a computer?
They don't have a home page.
Why do the twin towers and my mom have in common? They fell over.
What do orphans go to church for?
So they can call someone "father."
I would tell a 9/11 joke, but they usually crash and burn.
Why can't Orphans play baseball?
They can't find home.
What do the Titanic and the Montréal Canadiens have in common? They both sank to the bottom of the Atlantic.
Say all you want about priests, but at least they drive slowly in school zones.
