They jokes
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they have no one to call "daddy."
Why can't orphans have a computer?
They don't have a home page.
Why do the twin towers and my mom have in common? They fell over.
What do orphans go to church for?
So they can call someone "father."
I would tell a 9/11 joke, but they usually crash and burn.
Why can't Orphans play baseball?
They can't find home.
What do the Titanic and the Montréal Canadiens have in common? They both sank to the bottom of the Atlantic.
Say all you want about priests, but at least they drive slowly in school zones.
Why do Orphans like school?
Because they don't have a home to go back to afterwards.
I was happy for once, and my family was happy I was happy, but that all changed when they found out I was thinking about bridges and humans.
Why can't orphans get a job?
Because they don't have a home.
THIS IS A RHYME
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana.
Jack got high and grabbed her thigh and said you know you wanna.
Jill said yes as he grabbed her dress,
and they had a little fun.
Jill forgot her pills so now they have a son.
How many emos does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, they just sit there and cry in the dark.
ROBERT LEWANDISNEY SONG
Give me freedom. Give me fire. Give me contract, Or I retire.
Jog all day, Out of UCL now. FC Barcelona, I need you now.
Villarreal defenders, They surround me. Big submarines, All around me.
I get upset. Call my agent. I want money. I’m impatient.
If you're ever bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
My cousin: Brother, I lost in a game of Call of Duty: Moe Bill [he was supposed to pronounce it as mobile; however, I left it as it is].
Me: So tell me about it then.
My cousin: I lost to Sum_Baldi.
Me: Somebody? Don’t they have, like, the name of you opponents?
My cousin: No, no, no, the name was Sum_Baldi. S.U.M_B.A.L.D.I.
Me: Ok, my bad. Continue.
My cousin: I got Sum_Baldi, and 5 seconds later, I got kill[ed] by Sum_Fing_Wong.
Me: It’s not wrong! In Call of Duty, you are suppose to kill or be killed.
My cousin: No, no, no, the name was Sum_Fing_Wong. S.U.M_F.I.N.G_W.O.N.G.
Me: My bad again. Do continue.
My cousin: I got so angry I blow[ed] up.
Me: So you got blowed up, by what weapon?
My cousin: By the game.
Me: [was not expecting that for an answer]
Why do orphans want to die?
Because they might see their parents in Heaven.
How do pedophiles get kids to suck their d**k?
They spray paint it like candy 🍬.
If you call the number 800-273-8500 in Afghanistan, they say, "Can you fly a plane?"
You know I would make a deaf joke, but I don't think they would hear it.