They jokes
Why do people keep on making jokes about the twin towers?
Because they go down so well.
Why doesn't Iran have any Walmarts?
Because they have a Target at every corner.
Sister: Wanna know the difference between your singing and your flute playing?
Me: Sure... (Expecting a completely different response than what I get.)
Sister: Nvm, they have no difference.
Me: *Confused*
Sister: They're both horrible.
The only difference between my grandma and the twin towers is that they collapsed faster than my grandma.
What do orphans like about tattoos? They stick around.
Why do orphans love boomerangs?
Because they always return.
Women treat me like a god.
They ignore me till they need something.
How did Helen Keller's parents punish her?
They stuck a plunger down the toilet.
You're so fat that when you got to McDonald's, they had to call Wendy's for backup.
Why can't an orphan go on a field trip? They don't have a parent's signature.
What do you call a person in a wheelchair?
Anything they can't catch you.
Why don’t you see gay orphans at a daycare?
They have no one to call "daddy."
When you know you have a gay friend, but you find out that they like you!
So, a mom and a dad are having sex. Their daughter comes down and says, "Mommy, Mommy, what are you doing?"
The mom goes, "Uh, we're making a cake. Let's go back to bed." So she tucks her daughter in and says, "We will go to the park tomorrow."
So the next day they go to the park, and two teens are going at it in some bushes, and the little girl goes, "Mommy, Mommy, what are they doing?" And the mom goes, "They're making a cake. Let's go back home."
So they go home, and the mom tucked her into bed and says, "Tomorrow we will go to the zoo." And so the next day they go to the zoo, and two monkeys are going at it, and the girl goes, "Mommy, what are they doing?" And the mom goes, "They're making a cake. Let's go back home."
And so they go home, and the girl goes, "Mommy, did you and Daddy make a cake last night?" And the mom nervously says, "N-no, why?" And the little girl goes, "Because I licked the icing off the couch."
I bully orphans. What are they gonna do? Cry to their parents?
We were versing year 8 at footy, and they were mostly black, so I told my white friend to WATCH OUT!!!
What do emos and guys with a durag have in common? They both have waves, just one is on their arm.
What is an orphan's least favorite holiday?
Christmas, they wish they'd get parents.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to go and swim in some shit. Jack forgot to bring some goggles and floaty, and now they have a daughter.
Secret: Jill didn’t go in the shit yet. Jack went in first and died! :D
Jack and Jill went up the hill so they can fetch some pee. Jack fell down and broke his whole body. Jill just laughed and didn’t care, so now they have a daughter.