Why are Americans bad chess players?
They lost 2 towers.
McDonald's called back and they said they want their logo back.
Why do orphans eat an ice cream cone?? They can't afford a family pack.
Why can orphans not play bingo?
Because they can't get a full house.
If Republicans really wanted to enact pro-life legislation, they would ban guns, not abortion.
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they don't know where home is.
Why can't orphans go to the store? Because they throw everything around.
Yo mama's so nasty, they used to call them jumpolines 'til yo mama bounced on one.
Why are Americans so bad at Clash Royale?
Because they have already lost their towers.
Why can't orphans be gay?
'Cause they have no one to call "daddy."
Why do Japanese people hate Christmas?
Because the last time a "FatMan" went down their chimney they lost half of their population.
What do Michael Jackson and an Xbox have in common?
They both get turned on by kids.
Why are lesbians so bad at math? They can't multiply.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they ate the bat!
Why don't orphans know how to play baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
Maybe you should go on eBay to see if they have a life for sale.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
'Cause they don’t have a home to go to.
Why can't an orphan be gay? Because they have no one to call "daddy"/"mommy."
Me: Hey God, are you there? It's me, Michael.
God: *SILENCE*
Me: If any gods exist, they better say or do something this instant!
God: *SILENCE*
Straight men change their girlfriends like they change their undies. So, about once a month.
