Thereness jokes

A mom says to her son: "Hey, can you wave to that deaf kid over there?"

The son: "I don't know, can I?"

The mom: "May you?"

The son: "No, I don't have any arms!"

Why did the Chicken cross the road? You: Why? To get to the little b***h's house!

Knock knock! You: Who's there? The chicken!

There is only one thing I have to give my enemies.

A bucket full of dead baby heads and semen so they can replenish their spawn.

Ex-girlfriend: “I can smell fish.”

Ex-boyfriend: “I can smell sh*t.”

Ex-boyfriend: “Well, how many boys swam down there?”

Ex-girlfriend: “20!”

Fish: “Wasn’t me, I don’t swim around mistakes.”

Once, there was a brother and a sister that shared a YouTube channel. He named it "Penis Dick Marathon."

Tyler: What's your favorite fruit?

Frankie: Pineapple duh, what's yours?

Tyler: Pineapple

Frankie: Wanna come over and watch some Netflix? I'm home alone.

Tyler: Absolutely!! What time should I be there?

Frankie: Right now.

Tyler: Sweet! Should I bring a condom?

Frankie: Now enough talk, let's fuck.

Tyler: I thought you never asked.

When I die, I want my body to be cremated.

And fucked! Fucked really hard, papí!! Like a real whore!! Like a real tramp!! Stuff your entire cock in there!!! Uhh!! Uhh!!

I love telling good news to my patients, like they survived the crash but their family died.

What kind of knickers is the best?

Windy knickers, because they're the best kind.

Why do orphans don't like to eat big bags of chips? Because they're family size.

Why do orphans become bullies?

Because their mum and dad were never there for them.

Why do birds fly upside down over Poland?

There's nothing worth shitting on.

If there's ever a shooting at school, pull out an Uno reverse card.

Every time I come straight home from work, you're in the bed asleep and back there dead like a vampire in a casket.

Then the next thing I noticed, you just came back from the dead in no time, dummy.

A woman walked up to me and asked me for a joke. I stood there with a straight face knowing women can't be funny.

Last night little Johnny went to his room and saw people hanging out there, little balls.

There was an emo kid in their room, boom, they're all gone, now.

How do Ephippians celebrate their kids' first birthday?

Put a flower on their gravestone.

There is a country in Africa. It's called Djibouti. It has a crack in it!

When you ask your brother where his hairline is, and he points where it's supposed to be, and you say, "I don't see one there."