Thereness jokes
Why did the orphan misbehave in school?
Because the principal couldn't call their parents.
Knock knock. Who's there? Artichokes. Artichokes who? Artichokes when he eats too fast.
What does water see in orphans that they don't? Their parents.
One day, I'm going to Malta to a big hotel. In the morning, I go down to eat breakfast. I tell the waitress I want two pieces of toast. She brings me only one piece. I tell her I want a piece. She says, "Go to the toilet." I say, "You don't understand. I want a piece on my plate." She says, "You better not piss on your plate, you son of a bitch." I don't even know the lady, and she calls me a son of a bitch.
I don't need this shit!!
Later, I go to eat at the big restaurant. The waitress brings me a spoon and a knife, but no fork. I tell her I wanted a fork. She tells me everyone wanna fuck. I say, "You don't understand, I want a fork on my table." She says, "You better not fuck on the table, you son of a bitch." I don't even know the lady, and she calls me a son of a bitch.
I don't need this shit!
So, I go back to my room in a hotel, and there are no sheets on the bed. I call the manager and tell him I want a sheet. He tells me, go to the toilet. I say, "You don't understand, I want a sheet on my bed." He says, "You better not shit on my bed, you son of a bitch."
I go to the checkout, and the man at the desk says, 'Peace on you.' I say, 'Piss on you too, you son of a bitch. I'm going back to Italia. Arrivederci!'
I don't need this shit!
Moral of the story, don't go to Australia with a Korean accent.
There are 10 million million million million million million million million particles in da universe that we can observe.
Yo mama took the ugly ones and put them into one nerd.
Why is the orphan cold?
'Cause there's no one to cuddle with.
Look behind you, there is Stephen Hawking.
Nobody.
Where do orphans go when sad?
Not their parents.
There's 3 words in important: I'm, port, ant.
If you're mad, go punch an orphan. What are they going to do, tell their mom?
There's two reasons guys will hang themselves from the neck.
One is to escape the worthless masquerade of a life we pretend we have, and the second reason is to whack off.
Can an orphan child be arrested for vandalism, or will the officers ask for their parents to talk to?
Did you know that in 2001 there was an Among Us game, except that it was on a plane and had two imposters.
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Clearly not their parents."
A vampire goes to the bakery.
Vampire: "One bun, please."
Baker: "But you're a vampire, don't you need blood?"
Vampire: "Yes, there is an accident outside and I need something to dip."
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Ligma.
Ligma who?
Ligma balls.
What do Afghanistan people love about bombs?
They're black and go off.
Why do Indians hate snow?
Because it's white and all over their land.
Why are the Twin Towers and genders so similar?
Because there used to be two of them, but it's offensive to joke about that now.
"What do you tell a person with depression?
Just hang in there, buddy!"