Thereness jokes
Why can't you teach an orphan new tricks?
Because there is no one to teach them.
Maybe the reason there isn't any physical evidence is because it didn't happen.
I had to take the underground just to get from your forehead to your hairline, they're so far apart!!!
There were two friends talking one day. Tim tells John, "I think I'm gay."
John says to Tim, "What do you mean?"
Tim says, "When I grow up, I want to dress like a woman and sing karaoke in a bar and call myself (Gillette the best a man can get)!"
John says to Tim, "I think you're right, and thanks for reminding me I need to buy razors."
Why can't orphans be criminals?
Because they're not wanted.
Me: What do we need from there? I have a few things to do before I head out to the store, and then I will be home to pick up the stuff.
Random person: What stuff? 🤨
Me: What?
The person: You said you’re going to pick up “the stuff”!!! What do you mean by that?!
Me: Colourful flamingo fart.
A: What do you call a sophisticated American? B: Canadian.
A: Why aren't there any Mexicans in Canada? B: They can't run that far.
«A: Что вы называете искушенным американцем? Б: Канадец.
A: Почему в Канаде нет ни одного мексиканца? Б: Они не могут убежать так далеко».
Why don’t orphans understand the meaning of a family reunion?
Because they’re not wanted, yet maybe they should rob a 🏦 bank ;)
Why do orphans that go to their friend's house get this reaction from the friend's mom:
"Go back to your house, it's late." "Finn, wait, can I have your mom's phone number?" "Finn, wait, aren't you an orphan?" "Wait, don't you have a phone, Finn?" "Wait, I forgot, you don't have a phone because nobody wanted to get you a phone or to get you."
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Island.
Island who?
Island the one that knows you!
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Knock, knock, knock, knock, knock." "Who?" "Knock, knock you."
I snorted a line of coke off my 8-year-old sister’s tiny prepubescent vag. She just laid there and let me do it without complaining, probably because she was already dead.
Here's a sex joke.
What's the best part of having sex with 28 year olds? There's 20 of them.
There's no Asian kids in my class, but it just happens to be the rice store and the pet store just ran out of stock...
What's one similarity between the twin towers and gender?
There used to be 2, and now it's a sensitive subject.
Knock knock... Who's there? Surprise! Surprise who? Surprise, mother fucker!
The "F" in "orphan" stands for family, but there is no "F" in "orphan."
Genders are like the Twin Towers.
There used to be 2 of them, but now it’s a sensitive subject.
"There is no way you can fit in there."
"Says who?"
"Your mom."
"When?"
"Last night."
"OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-"
I wondered why there was red all over my bathroom til I found out that my sis had dyed her hair red. Man, it looked like somebody died in there! Lol.