There jokes

This guy comes knocking on the door in hell and speaks to God. "Please let me out, it is too cold in here!"

God is all confused. "There is a big fire in there!" The guy answers, "Yes, there is, but you cannot get near it. All the bishops, cardinals, and priests are sitting around it."

There's a new bird disease, it's called churpies.

It's a canariel disease, untweetable.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Nacho.

Nacho who?

Nacho Cheese!

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Donut.

What's the difference between a baseball game and an orphan?

There's a home to go back to.

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Ahoy Mateys.

Ahoy Mateys who?

Ahoy mateys, balls fit in your mouth? LOLOLOLOLOLOL

Why does Mao Zedong like the east coast?

Because there is a red Sun in the sky.

What do you call a sad rabbit? Unhoppy.

Why isn't there a sad sunglasses emoji? To show that I am happy but I'm still cool.

Knock knock. Who's there? Well, I will tell you who's not there: my dad.

Yo hairline so put back that you could put 10 big size ramen noodles there.

What does it mean when there is a man in your bed, gasping for breath and saying your name?

It just means that you didn't hold the pillow down long enough.

Why is there no medication in Africa?

Because doctors advised, "You don't take it on an empty stomach."

I am so disappointed in this race.

Brown skinned street shitters, goddamn, the lowest of the low southeast Asians, lazy monkey pig-dog duck fetus eating rice brainlets always on their phones, no IQ, ugly, uncivilized untermensch subhumans.

Friend: Hi.

Me: Do you know how lost their dad is?

Friend: Me?

Me: Damn, no, not you.

Friend: Then who?

Me: The orphan kid.

I guess we're the same.

What's the difference between a human and a potato? There is none, you can eat both.

There’s only one answer to who would win, 1996 Bulls or 2017 Warriors...

...Steve Kerr’s team.

On April Fool's, go to an orphanage and tell them that their parents are here to pick them up.

Texas is such a shitty state. There’s a reason it only has one star.

Why can you hit an orphan?

They can't tell their parents.

Why can’t an orphan play GTA?

Because they're not wanted.