There jokes

I never wanted to believe that my dad was stealing from his job as a road worker.

But when I got home, all the signs were there.

Knock knock? Who's there? Kanga. Kanga who? Not kangawho, kangaroo!

Why are orphans called orphans?

'Cause they're gay.

There was a doctor's room filled with 20 women, 4 kids, 15 men, and 1 dog. However, there were forty foreheads. How is this possible?

(They will think 44 heads, not 40 foreheads.)

Because there are 40 foreheads, not 44 heads.

A duck walks into a bar and says, "Got any bread?"

The bartender says, "No bread here."

And then the duck says, "Got any bread?"

And the bartender says, "Didn't I just f***ing say that there was no bread here?"

And the duck says, "Got any bread?!"

And the bartender says, "You stupid duck! Or should I say d***? There's no bread here. Don't make me say that again, or I'll pin you to the wall with a nail."

So the duck says, "Got any nails?"

And then the bartender looks surprised, and says, "Of course I've got f***ing nails. Can't you see them?"

And the duck says, "Got any bread?"

And the bartender throws the duck out of the bar.

Why are there no Olympics in Mexico?

Because everyone from Mexico that can run, jump, and swim is already over the border.

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Hair.

Hair who?

Hairhairhairhairhairhair!

As a doctor myself, that nurse was very slow, she tested my patience!

Three kids one day found a magical slide. There was a sign next to it saying, “Whatever you wish for comes true once you slide down.” One kid stepped up and slid down. He wished for a river of chocolate, thus he swam in a chocolate river.

The second kid slid down and wished for a mountain of money. He then landed in a pile of money. The third kid went down and said, “Weeeeeeee!”

Prankster kid: Knock knock.

Neighbor: Who's there?

...

A man ordered a washing machine because his old one stopped working. As soon as the man opened his new washing machine, he immediately rejoiced because there was a woman inside. Without hesitation, the man yelled, "FREE DISHWASHER!"

There are sexiest women in politics.

They should be in a car showroom.

There's something special about cemeteries.

People are dying to get inside.

You: Why did the chicken cross the road?

Random person: Why?

You: To get to the idiot's house!

Random person: What?

You: Knock knock.

Random person: Who's there?

You: The chicken.

"Knock, knock?"

"Who's there?"

"Cow said."

"Cow said who?"

"Cow says moo you ding dong!"

Grove Christian School is a great school in Richmond, Virginia. I recommend that you go there.

A sibling went up to their other sibling and said, "Dad said you're adopted."

The other sibling said, "You are, too."

Then the first sibling goes, "No, I'm not."

And the sibling says, "We're twins."

The other kid goes, "And you're adopted... oh."

When there’s an earthquake, coffins become underground maracas.

Have you ever been to the ocean? Well, the smokers out there probably only seaweed!

What's the best thing about twenty-one year olds?

There's twenty-one of them.