Them jokes

My friend told me to make more friends, so I joined a suicide cult.

I’ll be hanging with them for a while.

Why can't an orphan play basketball?

Because no one will be cheering them on.

What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?

One of them gets picked.

Why can't orphans celebrate Christmas?

Father Christmas left them.

Who can jump the highest?

Emos, some of them are still in the air.

The warden gave them a choice of three ways to die: to be shot, to be hung, or to be injected with the AIDS virus for a slow death.

So the German said, "Shoot me right in the head." Boom, he was dead instantly.

Then the Italian said, "Just hang me." Snap, he was dead.

Then the Irishman said, "Give me some of that AIDS stuff." They gave him the shot, and the Irishman fell down laughing. The guards looked at each other and wondered what was wrong with this guy.

Then the Irishman said, "Give me another one of those shots," so the guards did. Now he was laughing so hard, tears rolled from his eyes and he doubled over.

Finally, the warden said, "What is wrong with you?"

The Irishman replied, "You guys are so stupid... I'm wearing a condom!"

I was working at a check-in station for a flight to Riyadh when suddenly I was approached by Benzema, Kante, and Neymar!

At first I was very surprised and curious, so I asked them why they decided to play in the Saudi Pro League and not MLS where GOAT Messi plays. They all smiled and happily replied: "Don't you know, the legendary bench warmer PRISTIANO PENALDO plays there!"

Now I fully understood what they meant! They know that Pristiano is already finished, so winning trophies will be easy for them. I smiled and happily let them through.

I have many jokes about unemployed people--sadly, none of them work.

What makes a child an orphan?

Their parents left them for good. :D

I was telling the emo kid emo jokes, and I couldn’t read them because I was laughing too hard. I almost cut the emo kid. He wasn’t laughing at the jokes.

You're so ugly that blind people cry when you walk past them.

What do orphans and TVs have in common?

At least one of them has a home.

What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?

One of them gets picked up.

What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?

At least one of them gets picked.

Some kids at school made fun of me for playing Halo, so I gave them a halo.

Why can't orphans sleep? Nobody can tuck them in.

Suicidal thoughts aren’t nice, but nor is life. So why not get them both done and over with?

Tell world's best yo mama joke to an orphan, then watch them cry.

I bought some shoes from a drug dealer.

I don’t know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!

I asked an emo kid if they were jealous because their phone died before them.