What do orphans and garbage have in common?
They’re both in the street, and no one wants to pick them up.
Can you imagine the last thing that went through the minds of 9/11 victims?
Well, probably the person in front of them.
Two priests walk into a store, and cops come up to them and say they’re looking for a child molester, and the priests both say, "I’ll do it!"
A man walks into the taxidermist with two monkeys. The taxidermist asked if he wanted them mounted. The man said, "No. Shaking hands will be fine."
What is the similarity of a bomb and a baby?
When you drop them both, everyone screams.
Q: What do blind kids and orphans have in common?
A: Neither of them get to see their parents.
Next time you see a Brit, go up to them and say:
"Imagine losing a 'Tea Party in Boston.'"
Why do orphans hate health ed at school?
Their parents can't opt them out of it.
An emo went to high five a tree, and it left them hanging.
Why are orphans so bad at dodgeball?
Because no one misses them.
I ran over some crippled kids. I told [them] to walk it off!
What's the same with shoes and slaves?
When they get loose, you tie them up.
What do LGBTQ folk and folk with scoliosis have in common?
None of them are straight.
I want to write some jokes about unemployed people, but none of them works.
Whenever I work late at the hospital, I help the patients sleep.
There isn't a snooze button on the beeping things, and it can be quite annoying, making it hard for the patients to sleep, so I unplug them.
Q. Why do orphans love elevators?
A. Because they're the only things to raise them.
Don't break someone's heart. They only have one.
Break someone's bones. They have 206 of them.
What do you not say to an Emo if you want them to come round? "Wanna hang out."
What was Michael Jackson's answer to the parents of the little boys who were left with him when asked why does he do it that way? Tell them that it's human nature.
Father: I am taking your toys to the orphanage.
Son: Why?
Father: You’ll need them there.
