Them jokes
How do you punish blind kids?
Put them in a round room and tell them to sit in the corner.
Why did the woman throw her bills out the window? She wanted to send them via airmail.
What do the Twin Towers and genders have in common? There used to be two of them, but now it's a sensitive subject.
If you give someone a plane ticket, they will fly for a day, but if you push them out of a plane, they'll fly for the rest of their life.
What do boobs and toys have in common?
They were both originally made for kids, but daddies end up playing with them.
How do you blindfold a woman?
Put a windshield in front of them.
Why do skeletons hate wind? Because it goes right through them!
Two priests walk into a store, and cops come up to them and say they’re looking for a child molester, and the priests both say, "I’ll do it!"
What's the difference between a feminist and a pencil?
One of them has a POINT:)
What does a baby and a hand grenade have in common?
They both make noise when you throw them.
What do cigarettes and hamsters have in common?
They can both be dangerous when you stick them in your mouth and light them on fire.
How many black people does it take to change a lightbulb in the middle of the night?
I don't know, I can never see them.
Why does JD Vance not need a conviction?
His running mate has 34 of them!
What do babies and grenades have in common? They both make noise when you throw them.
Hi, I was a feminist until I realised that:
A. Feminism is just a pile of dumb shit.
B. That men are actually treated unequally.
SO
we should all say sorry to the boys for pissing them off.
What do an X-Box and Michael Jackson have in common? They're both made of plastic and little kids turn them on.
So, Little Johnny comes home from school knowing damn well he messed up his math test. His mother and father get home and he tells them, "Mom, I failed my math test." His mother aggressively says, "Get the belt!" Johnny says, "Why?" His mother says, "I'm gonna spank you for failing!" Johnny says, "So just like daddy?" His father turns red knowing what they did last night.
A mouse is just like a ball bearing.
Drench them in oil, and they stop squeaking.
Me: *stabs vampire*
Wife: omg
Me: *beats vampire to death*
Wife: OMG
Me: What?
Wife: You're supposed to give them candy!
Me: Well, that's a sticky situation now, isn't it, Barbara?
Never break a girl's/boy's/someone's heart. They only have one of them.
Break their bones instead. They have 206 of them.