Them jokes
She does not wanna fuck you, and she don’t need you clapping them cheeks.
Two men walk into a bar. You’d think at least one of them would have ducked.
"Lettuce" stop making vegetable puns. We don't carrot all about them and they're not a-peas-ing.
If a kid refused to go to bed, does that make them guilty of resisting a rest?
Teacher: Tell me a moral story.
Little Johnny: Once my grandfather was in WW2. He saw everyone praising to kill him. For example, we should sneak up and kill him. We get the helicopter above and shoot him from there. My grandfather heard this, he got his gun and shot them all.
Teacher: What is the moral even?
Little Johnny: Never plan to kill my grandfather.
Why are Bengalis so fishy?
Because the fish ate them on a daily basis.
How does the non binary kill white en Amy?
They/them.
When your grades get mailed to your house when you expect to get them in school.
When you get home, your mom is there with the belt, going 1k miles per hour.
A Japanese man goes to the dentist. After being there for a while, the dentist asks, "How often do you floss your teeth?"
The Jap said, "After every meal." When they finish up, the dentist turns to him and says, "You need to floss your eyes more. I can still see them."
Why does the military pick orphans as fighter pilots?
Because homing missiles don't work on them.
My relatives used to tease me at weddings, saying I'd be next. They soon stopped when I started doing the same to them at funerals.
I don't get people who treat you like shit and cross your boundaries, then are surprised when you have depression.
It's because of them after all. 🥰✨️
Doctor: I'm sorry, but you still have 10 seconds left.
Man: What?! What about my family?! My son is still missing! I can't just leave like that!
Doctor: Don't worry sir, I told your family.
Man: That's... great... if they found my son, tell them that I love him more than anything and I couldn't keep that promise.
The doctor watches the man closing his eyes while tears fell down from his eyes.
Doctor: I will... dad...
Tq for reading my crappy joke.
Today I asked my best friend what their favorite joke was. They started waving their hands around, and I thought it was a sign to go, thinking I had offended them or something. Turns out they were mute...
Like, if you hate wearing a mask.
Every time I'm out in public, and I see someone without their mask, I always feel like there is something extra special about them. Then I realize that I can see all their face!
True story by the way.
What do parents and dark humor have in common? Not everyone gets them.
Why do orphans not know how to spell?
Because no one likes them, dumb people. 🤭🤡
How do people get skinny?
Their parents don't feed them. (JOKE)
Why can't orphans tell jokes?
They have no one to tell them to, people.
I hope next time you ask your teacher to go to the toilet, your teacher says no, but when someone else asks, the teacher says yes to them.