Them jokes

I was going to give my wife chocolates, but my fat friends ate them.

Wife: "You don't even have friends!"

What do orphans and olden day actors have in common?

Both get food thrown at them some of the time.

What's the same about a newborn and a football?

You can kick them both very easily.

Some jokes are best left not harassed by those who are offended by them.

For I have everyone's IP address.

I was the person that flew into the Twin Towers. I have two friends that are both twins, and whenever they speak, I tell them to shut up because if they don't, I'll make myself explode in them.

I got in trouble in school today. The teacher said, "I'm gonna call your parents!"

I said, "Let me know when you find them." <3

Why does Michael Jackson like twenty-eight year olds?

'Cause there are twenty of them.

Jesse: Do you like my ball?

Mike: Yes, they are very big. I can’t even fit them in my mouth. You bought a new ball, right?

Jesse: No, they do not leave me.

Who can jump the highest?

Emos, some of them are still falling.

I was visiting an orphanage and started to pull in close to the building. My car hit 3 speed bumps, and it caught me off guard. I got out of my car, looked under my tire, and saw three orphans wedged in my tire. I started to get worried, but then I thought to myself... nobody will miss them.

"Nining leven BITCH. I don't know how to spell, but it's that shit where the planes flew into them towers."

Why didn't the orphans stay at the park for days? Because they had no one to pick them up.

What's an orphan's best friend? A boomerang because it's the only thing that ever came back.

Why aren't Down's syndrome jokes funny?

Because the format of them is ugly.

I was exploring the Dubai trophy factory when someone came crashing in. It was him, Pristiano Penaldo. He held the workers at gunpoint, forcing them to make him another plastic Mickey Mouse award or he will dive and sue them for assaulting him. Shame on you, pendu!

Why don't orphans play hide and seek?

Because no one will look for them.

I got them red Gucci bracelets.

Man: How do you prepare your chicken?

Waiter: Nothing special, we just tell them they’re going to die.

Say the drive through at McDonald's, order (don't say the sake) but when you get it ask them, "My sake?" and say, "Sake that ass."

Why can’t an orphan go to a youth church? Because they need a parent to pick them up.

How many babies does it take to paint the side of a barn?

Depends on how hard you throw them.