What's a similarity between your best friend and a tree?
They both fall over when you hit them with an axe.
How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall red? It depends on how hard you throw them.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? It depends on how hard you throw them.
Q: Why do Norwegian ships have bar codes on them?
A: So when they come into port they can Scan-Da-Navy-In!
The twin towers are like genders, there used to be two of them.
What's the best thing about 28 year olds? There is 20 of them.
What do Stephen Hawking and the Wicked Witch have in common?
If you throw water over them, they both die...
how many dead babies does it take to paint a wall?
depends on how hard you throw them.
How do you fit 100 babies in a bowl? A blender.
How do you get them out? Tortilla chips.
How many babies does it take to paint a barn red? Depends on how hard you throw them.
How many babys does it take to paint a wall red. Depends how hard you can throw them.
An American mother has 3 children. The first child asked his mum: "Why is my sister called Crazy Horse and my brother Rushing Water?"
Mum: "Because those were the first thing I saw after i gave birth to them. Why are you asking all these questions, two dogs fucking?"
Three nuns are on their way up to heaven after having been involved in a terrible minibus crash on the Italian Alps that killed them and the driver (he went the other direction!).
As they're approaching the Pearly Gates to be interviewed by St. Peter, they are requested by an attendant to form a single line and wait. Sister Agnes is first, Sister Bernadette behind her and Sister Carmel on the end.
Finally, St. Peter approaches the nuns to determine their worthiness for entry to Heaven.
He says to the first nun: "Sister Agnes, have you ever seen the penis of a man?"
Sister Agnes bursts into tears and says: "Yes, St. Peter, I have, but please don't let this prevent me from entering the Kingdom of Heaven."
St. Peter says: "Never fear, my child. Say a thousand Hail Marys and then go over to that font of Holy Water and wash your eyes out, then you shall enter the Kingdom of Heaven."
Sister Carmel sees what's going on and taps Sister Bernadette on the shoulder, somewhat urgently.
"Pssst - hey Bernie"!, she says.
Sister Bernadette asks: "What is it?" A little annoyed.
Sister Carmel says: "Do you mind if we swap places"?
Sister Bernadette replies: "What for"?
Sister Carmel says: "Well, I wouldn't mind gargling before you stick your ass in there!"
How many dead babies does take to paint a wall- depends how hard you throw them
What has more brains than the Columbine students? The wall behind them, xD.
diabetic wives are like cillit bang. squeeze them a bit and bang! the bed is gone
If you want to pick on someone, pick on orphans. Let them tell their parents.
Double!
Where did Sally go during the bombing? Everywhere!
Triple!
Why did Bob cross the road? Because he wasn't wearing his seatbelt.
Looks like I lost an electron, I should keep a better ion them.
My friends say they don’t like my skeleton puns.
I should put a little more backbone into them.
I am a big fan of whiteboards. I find them quite re-markable.
