The jokes
What did the Atlantic Ocean say to the Pacific Ocean? Nothing, it just waved.
Dad: Come on, David, go dress up like a girl.
David: Isn't that illegal?
Dad: Nah, it isn't illegal if you keep the buttons in.
David: I hate my life.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
Yo mama so fat, when she stepped on the scales, it said, "One person at a time, please!"
Why did the chicken cross the road to get to the chicken coop?
Memes
People are fighting in a war, and a man gets hit four times in the arm and says, "'Tis but a scratch!"
And the other guy, looking at him in shock, says, "A scratch? Your arm is off your body!"
Why did the chicken cross the road to get away from this conversation?
Yo mama so stupid, when I said, "Go deep," she dug a hole in the field.
You know how in the movie, "Nightmare Before Christmas," they say they're making Christmas?
I thought Mary and Joseph did, but okay.
This 15-year-old girl wanted a cross on her room with a long nail on the end over her bed. Unfortunately, it killed her dad because it fell off the wall.
(Do you get the joke?)
(Her dad was on her, and it fell and killed him.)
I got kicked outta the poker game.
They said I was a little cheetah.
Orphans and homeless people are the same thing.
What music scares balloons?
Pop music.
Why would the banana scream "ouch?"
Because it is getting peeled.
What did the ghost knights say to the cloud king?
"Our souls will rain forever."
Why did the banana like the movie?
Because it was apeeling.
You know what is the worst mistake every human being made?
Answer: Living.
On the plus side, I finally hear voices talking to me... just wish they were outside my head.
What do you get when you mix Harry Houdini, a basketball, and the 17th president?
Magic Johnson.
Why did the cow wiggle?
To make milkshake! 😂😂😂😂😂😂
Q: Why didn't the skeleton laugh at the joke?
A: He broke his funny bone!