The jokes
What cookies did the orphans never try?
Home made cookies!
I put someone in a wheelchair into the fire and called him "hot wheels."
Why did the orphan rob the bank?
To be wanted.
What's the difference between WW2 kamikaze planes and 9/11?
One of the missions succeeded.
The 911 people really didn't scramble fast enough, so they got folded like an omelet.
The good thing about being gay in school is that you can be the best student and still get all the D's.
Why can't Mexicans play Uno?
Because they take all the green cards.
Did the people of England see a "game over" sign in the sky when the queen died?
What were the Fortnite kid's last words? "I didn't know pumps are back in the game!"
The more suicidal people there are, the less suicidal people there are... Woah!
How do you tell if someone is depressed?
The brains on the wall.
Violence is never the answer:
It's the solution.
Yesterday I wanted to look up the term "procrastination".
I swear, I'll do it tomorrow.
What's Technoblade's favorite show and is the only one he can relate to?
Peppa Pig: Peppa Dies!
How do you circumcise a hillbilly?
Kick his sister in the jaw.
Go on the quintillionaire morning routine now!
1. Wake up. 2. Take a shit. 3. Eat. 4. Get out of bed. 5. Have breakfast.
What is the difference between the Twin Towers and feminism? The Twin Towers were destroyed by terrorists, while feminism was created by terrorists.
Why did the pen stop writing?
'Cause the pen wasn't very dependable.
Today was the worst day ever! My brother got run over, and I lost my driver's license!
How many men does it take to open a bottle of beer?
A: None, it should be opened by the time she brings it.