The jokes
What was the one test that Steven Hawking couldn't pass?
reCAPTCHA
What’s a bird’s favorite movie?
The Parrots of the Caribbean.
Why did the orphans like church so much?
So they had someone to call father...
The retards take the ancestry tests at 24andMe.com.
Why did the little girl's ice cream melt?
She was on fire.
What do you call a letter using the bathroom?
The P.
When you're sitting in class and the quiet kid yells, "Lovely day, isn't it?" ... and you see a Glock shape in his pocket.
What’s the difference between a hoe and a rooster?
A rooster says, "Cock-a-doodle-doo," and a hoe says, "Any cock will do."
What do chickens play in the pool? Marco Polo.
Why was the man running around his bed?
Because he needed to catch up on his sleep!
Why did Michael Jackson decide to sell the ranch?
Because it was over 10 years old.
Why did the rapper become a chef?
Because he wanted to cook up some FIRE BARS!
One day, little Johnny woke up to get a drink of water. He passed by his parents' bedroom and noticed sheets bouncing. He asked his dad what he was doing. He said, "Playing cards." Little Johnny said, "Who is your partner?" Dad said, "Your mom." On his way up, he passed by his sister's room and noticed sheets bouncing around and asked what she’s doing. She said, "Playing cards with my boyfriend, Paul." The next day, Dad came to ask Johnny a question. The father noticed Johnny was still in bed and asked him what he was doing. He saw the sheet bouncing and asked Johnny what he was doing. He said, "Playing cards." His dad asked him who his partner was. Little Johnny said, "You don’t need a partner if you have a good hand."
There is a man in the hospital. The power went out, and the man was stabbed to death. There are three witnesses: the nurse who was with another patient, the doctor who was reading some paperwork, and The Who who was at the vending machine. Who killed the man?
The mom did, because you can’t use a vending machine when the power's out!
Q: Why did the Koala fall off the tree? A: Because it was dead.
Q: Why did the second Koala fall off the tree? A: Because it was hit by the first Koala.
Q: Why did the third Koala fall off the tree? A: Because it thought it was a game and joined in.
There is a young man smoking and a woman in a wheelchair. The woman says, "Why is a young man like you smoking?" The man turns around and says, "Why the fuck are you wearing trainers?"
What’s the difference between a prostitute and a hockey player?
A hockey player gets to shower after three periods.
Donald Trump secretly admires Joe Biden. How do I know?
He attempts to imitate "Sleepy Joe" by falling asleep during his court cases and during part of the Republican National Convention!
A depressed man was caught on top of the Empire State Building with marijuana. Needless to say, he didn't want to come down.
What's the best thing about fucking 21 year olds?
There's 20 of them.