The jokes

Where did Noah keep his bees? -- In the ark hives.

Everyone's always saying they're so worried about America's big button, the one that controls all the nuclear power. I'm not worried about that... I'm worried about the idiot on the end of it.

Michael Jackson and Tonya Harding got together back in the day for a horse racing venture. Tonya says, "I'll handle the handicapping, you go ride the 3-year-olds."

Why don't Mexicans cross the border in groups of 3? Cause the sign says "No Trespassing."

Why does Mexico not have a good athletics team? Because anyone who can run or jump is already over the wall.

what is the fastest land animal? the last chicken in a Kenyan village.

Good sex sounds like a white man walking across the street with flip-flops on.

What is the most difficult day in the ghetto?

Father's Day.

What did the deaf man say to the blind man before he fell into the well?

Nothing.

You guys should be ashamed of yourselves, making fun of the disabled. After all, they can't stand up for themselves.

One day Timmy walks in on his mum in the bath. Then he asks, “What’s that dark fuzzy thing, mummy?” and mum said, “It’s a bush, every girl has one!” Then the next day he walks in on his dad in the shower. So he asks, “Daddy, what’s that long thing?” The dad then says, “It’s a sexy boy” accidentally. Timmy asks his dad, “What does sexy mean?” And the dad says, “Your mother, of course,” making it seem like a child-friendly compliment. Then the next day at school Timmy wanted to compliment his teacher. He walks up to her and says, “You’re so so sexy!”

What’s the only long-lasting thing from China?

Covid.

Why is the Tower of Pisa leaning? Because it has better reflexes than the Twin Towers.

What do emos and the Twin Towers have in common? There were two, but now there are none.

Gay sex is a real pain in the ass.

Why were the Twin Towers mad? They ordered pizza, but all they got was plane.

My mom told me to get off the computer or she will slam my head into the keyboard.

I don't think she lskdjfklsdjf.

A man walks into a bar with a 44. Magnum and yells, "Who the fuck fucked my wife?" The bartender answers, "Mate, you ain't got enough bullets."

Q: What did the cannibal say to the leper?

A: You gonna eat that?

Helen Keller fell down a well. She screamed and screamed until she was blue in the hands.