The jokes

Donald Trump was golfing with Barack Obama. The Donald said, "Listen Barack, I'm getting older and I'm having trouble sexually satisfying my young wife. I know that you black guys are supposed to be magic in bed. Can you give me a few pointers?" Barack gave Donald a few ideas and that night Donald made love to his wife. He did everything he was told. He started out slowly entering his wife gently then finished hard. Melania came quickly screaming. "Oh Donald, You fuck just like Barack Obama."

Three men were captured by a tribe and tortured. The leader of the tribe tells them that they would live only if they could achieve one thing: They had to go out and find 10 pieces of the same fruit each.

The first person returned with apples. The leader said that he had to put all 10 of them up into his ass without making a sound, or he would be killed. 1... 2... he screamed.

The next person came back with grapes. 1, 2, 3, he counted up to 8, but began to burst out laughing; he was killed. In heaven, the first man asked him why he laughed if he was doing so well. "Well, I saw the third guy coming back with fucking pineapples!"

What did the condom say when he came out of a gay guy's asshole?

He said, "Fuck this shit!"

Where did Noah keep his bees? -- In the ark hives.

Everyone's always saying they're so worried about America's big button, the one that controls all the nuclear power. I'm not worried about that... I'm worried about the idiot on the end of it.

Michael Jackson and Tonya Harding got together back in the day for a horse racing venture. Tonya says, "I'll handle the handicapping, you go ride the 3-year-olds."

Why don't Mexicans cross the border in groups of 3? Cause the sign says "No Trespassing."

Why does Mexico not have a good athletics team? Because anyone who can run or jump is already over the wall.

what is the fastest land animal? the last chicken in a Kenyan village.

Good sex sounds like a white man walking across the street with flip-flops on.

What is the most difficult day in the ghetto?

Father's Day.

What did the deaf man say to the blind man before he fell into the well?

Nothing.

You guys should be ashamed of yourselves, making fun of the disabled. After all, they can't stand up for themselves.

What’s the only long-lasting thing from China?

Covid.

Why is the Tower of Pisa leaning? Because it has better reflexes than the Twin Towers.

What do emos and the Twin Towers have in common? There were two, but now there are none.

Gay sex is a real pain in the ass.

Why were the Twin Towers mad? They ordered pizza, but all they got was plane.

My mom told me to get off the computer or she will slam my head into the keyboard.

I don't think she lskdjfklsdjf.

A man walks into a bar with a 44. Magnum and yells, "Who the fuck fucked my wife?" The bartender answers, "Mate, you ain't got enough bullets."