The jokes

I like my women the way I like my coffee, and I don't drink coffee.

What's the Twin Towers' favorite Minecraft biome?

A plains biome.

Your hairline is like the universe. It's still waiting to be discovered.

I went to go hang out with the emo kids, but they already did.

Teacher: "What do you think is your purpose in our society?"

Me: "To reduce the population by one."

I was in the mood for some dark meat, so I called my black friend.

Why did Hitler turn to genocide after a failed career as an artist?

He never learned to mix the colors.

Why did the Xbox player cross the road? To render in the buildings.

My wife left a note on the fridge that said, "This isn't working." I'm not sure what she's talking about. I opened the fridge door and it's working fine!

I don't understand why, when I went to the shooting range today, the police came. Like, bro, I always go to elementary schools.

Why don’t midgets fight? They walk away to be the bigger man.

You look like the 0.01 percent of bacteria the Lysol didn't kill.

If all your clothes were stolen, what would you go home in?

The dark.

Your mom is so fat that when she fell on the sidewalk, nobody laughed, but the sidewalk cracked up.

Two wind turbines were standing on a hill.

One asks, "What's your favorite type of music?"

The other one says, "I'm a big metal fan."

What did the orphan ask Santa for? A good family.

What do you call two monkeys who share the same Amazon account? Prime mates.

Osama Bin Laden is the best Angry Birds player of all time.

What did the orphan say to the other? "Quickly Robin, to the Batmobile!"

What are the two hottest cities in the world? Hiroshima and Nagasaki.