The jokes
I swear I witnessed your nana fall down the stairs.
L
Why am I in jail? Because I wasn't invited to the party in the orphanage 23 days ago. Stupid fucks.
The people in the World Trade Center ordered two pepperoni, but got two planes.
Stephen Hawking was a spac. But if you put an E on the end, you get space, and he loved that.
People say towers can't move. Apparently, nobody told that to the Trade Centers.
Memes
My mom said, "Why did I adopt you?"
I said, "Because the other three were mistakes."
What's the difference between 8 and 9? When you have the 9, everyone wants to be your friend.
The doctor gave his patient 1 day of life, so he shot him. Then the judge gave him 15 years, so there you go, problem solved.
Why did the impostor vent... to get to the other side?
Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut?
Poor guy really needs some space.
What's at the bottom of the ocean and shivers?
A nervous wreck.
What day is Labor Day?
It's the day mommies have their babies.
"Mom, these balloons are hard to blow."
"Son, stay out of the drawer."
You are so fat that when you go out to check your letterbox, it measures 8 on the Richter scale.
I'm the joke 😈😈😈 HAHHAHAAHHAHA Delilah my kitten meow meow to the woof woof.
Why are the Americans bad at chess?
Because they lost 2 towers.
I scanned an emo girl's arm the other day. Now I own her, only 3.99 with tax. That's a steal and a half, woopeeee!
A girl's pussy is a muff, and when we have something against our mouths, they say our voice is muffled, so do I think the origin of the word "muffled" is talking while eating muff?
"I need to go to the doctor!"
"Why?"
"It has a crack in it."
One day, someone's ex was going to the kitchen to get something to eat, and her ex-boyfriend was there and gave her an apple. Next minute, she had chlamydia. What did the boyfriend do?