The jokes

What do you call a son of Gilgamesh that hates flashy lights? The epileptic of Gilgamesh.

I went up to the deaf kid and said, "I’m going to punch you in 3, 2, 1." And he ended up with a broken nose, and I said, "You should have listened to me!"

I was at a funeral. I kissed a hot girl I did not know. She was the one that died.

Why did the pig decline to go to the farmer's house?

He would take him to a "pignic."

Why did the duck walk across the road? I lost my pecker!

You wanna know the difference between a rake and your mom? The rake is actually useful.

Did you hear about the new drink commemorating Princess Diana?

It had nine shots and seven chasers!

You're in Australia. Your forehead is the reason why Africa is so hot.

What is the difference between an emo kid and a jug of milk?

The milk doesn't hang itself after it gets dumped.

I was falling down the stairs at my local clock tower.

I somehow broke more than 206. I broke 342!

I can make a living with the "Treat Yo self" budget.

Yet I can’t use the "Help yo self" budget.

The old cookoo master on the top of Mt. Qinshan told me this when I was eating sushi:

"The first bite tastes like heaven, the second takes you there."

😳

Damn, the guy who made the "Whip/Nae Nae" song really made his cousin go Silento.

@ Kobe the person under my joke, your hairline is so bad that Kobe Bryant could've lived if he landed the helicopter on your forehead.

Wait till the end.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7, 8, 9.

But why was 10 scared? Because it was in the middle of 9/11!

Did you all hear about the newest gay celebrity couple? Yeah, John Fitzpatrick and Patrick Fitzjohn.

How can you tell it's a gay barbecue?

'Cause all the hot dogs taste like shit.

Everybody knows the joke: Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because seven ate nine.

But why was 10 scared? Because he was right in the middle of 9/11.

Yo mama so old that she knew "The Outsiders" when they were "The Insiders."

I got sent to the principal's office for telling the kid in the wheelchair to stand up for himself.