The jokes
I lost my job at the bank today. A lady told me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
Hey Gwen... I had a friend named Gwen in preschool.
The preschool was Cascade Christian and in Washington (which is close to Oregon. I read in a chat that you live there.) This is a long shot, but I think you might be the same Gwen. If not, ok.
Penalties. Tap ins. Ghosting. Diving.
Long ago, the four lived together in harmony. Then, everything changed when the Germans attacked. Only Penaldo, master of all four elements, could stop them, but when his country needed him most, he vanished.
I woke up when I heard a strange noise coming from my kitchen.
I turned on the light, and I saw none other than the exposed flop GHOSTNALDO. He asked me if I had PenalTEA, his favorite drink. I said no and yelled, "There is a big game tomorrow!" and he disappeared.
My son and I went on a tour to the Old Trafford Stadium. We were admiring the 76,000 seat arena when he suddenly pointed at the pitch.
“Dad, who is that man camping there?” I said, “Son, that is Bruno Penandes. He lives in that Penalty box. He only performs in small games.”
Memes
Girl: Boys are like sports, they get played.
Boy: Girls are like rocks, the flat ones get skipped.
My sister said that if you go to a random person's door, the sister will all Waze open it.
Friend: Ooo, I see Jessica.
Me: Nice.
Friend: She got some red on her shirt.
Me: Yeah, that's where the Titanic hit her :///
Hi, um okay... Knock! Knock! Who's there? Doris! Doris who? Doris look I need the key!
Um...oh here another one! Okay...so sorry I type random things on these joke sites...anyway...okay. What is a book never written: "Beautiful sites of the corel rife written by the ocean!"
tbh, I was not even talking to you guys. I was talking to the funny jokes about Ariana, and people were saying she was adopted, so, tbh, fuck off!
What happens when someone shoots the Hulk?
He got gangryeen.
Gangrene+green+angry
It says in the Bible to only think about what’s pure and lovely... So I’ve been thinking about you all day long.
Why didn't the koala climb up the tree?
Comment down below!
People who don't have common sense are just stupid people with ugly hearts. STOP HATING PEOPLE YOU NEVER KNOW! Also write "then exit the f word site," and I think we know that won't happen!!!
I L.O.V.E GWEN!!!!!!
Why do orphans have sex toys? Because the uncle isn't there.
How do Chinese parents name their children?
Dropping a pan down the stairs. Bing, Bong, Dong.
What's the difference between a watermelon and an orphan?
One you cut into 2 with a knife.
And the watermelon you cut into pieces.
Why did Jesus not win any Stanley Cups? Because he was cut from the team because he kept being pinned to the boards.
When your cousin who has a lisp died from the impostor in Among Us,
"THE IMPASTA KILLED MEH!"
Why did Tigger look in the toilet?
He was looking for "poo."