The jokes

Animal

Like if you like dogs. Dislike if you like cats. Other animal? Tell me in the comments!

Grape

Who is buried in the tomb of Alexander the Grape?

Alexander the raisin.

Mathematician

An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer. The second orders half a beer. The third orders a third of a beer. The bartender bellows, "Get the hell out of here, are you trying to ruin me?"

Sister

My sister thinks she's so smart and funny. The only thing that is funny is her face.

Plane

How to kick a deaf person off the plane:

Step 1: Pretend to yell and get some friends to do it, too.

Step 2: Tell your friends to raise both of their hands.

Step 3: He's out of the plane on a parachute.

Dementia

What would be the most heartbreaking scene in a dementia film? I forgor 💀.

Movie

In the movie "Cars 2", there is a priest, which means car Jesus died for the sins of the cars.

Face

I'd mop the floor with your face, but you might just mess it up more.

Orphan

What does a deaf person and an orphan have in common? They both can’t hear their parents.

Why can’t an orphan go to Family Dollar? They don’t have a family.

Don’t mess with an emo because if their friends pull up, you gotta fight the suicide squad.

Man

A man shot into a crowd at the train station and didn't hit one person. When the police asked why he missed, someone said, "'Cause he gay."

He couldn't shoot straight.

Paul Walker

I can't tell what's farther, the Great Wall of China, or how far Paul Walker flew out of his windshield.

Abortion

A 17 year old pregnant Juanita flew all the way to NY from TX to get an abortion. Initially, she was denied the procedure because she wasn't COVID boosted, but after she explained the father was religious and wanted to be involved, they quickly resolved the threat.

Indian

What do you call a fat Indian that is actually a machine?

The "curry muncher 2000."

Orphan

Why did the orphan go to church?

To finally call someone father. 😂😂