The jokes
If you're reading this, you are Nickel and Gallium......
Ni- ........*something else in between the two halves*................Ga
YOU FUCKING MONKEYS!
Why did the rapper bring a broom on stage?
To sweep the competition!
Why did the rapper bring a parachute to the show?
Because he wanted to drop some FLY VERSES!
What's the difference between a parachute and a coffin?
One brings you safely to the ground, and the other is a last resort when you've already hit it.
Why is it that skinny men love fat women?
Because we need warmth in the winter and shade in the summer.
Memes
My girlfriend used to give the best blowjobs, then she grew teeth.
Q: What's the difference between Terri Schiavo and a tomato?
A: A tomato isn't a vegetable.
Why can't fat kids change a tire?
They would eat the donut.
What's the difference between my dad and milk? There is no difference; they both left.
Everybody is talking about Trump having leaks in his office.
I don't see what the problem is. He should just use a better fitting diaper next time.
What did the wizard say when he was filling up the gas tank? "Expensive Petroleum!"
You know what's crazy? Is that the low taper fade, like, meme, is still MASSIVE. Still MASSIVE. Like, I'm still seeing like, new ones, that I've never seen before, and they're getting millions of likes and millions of views.
Are people too thick to realize the difference between a fruit, a vegetable, and a person?
Why do the Twin Towers have Elton John?
Because Elton "IS STILL STANDING".
What the fluff happened to this website?
What's the difference between me and my mate...
I left my dad, while hers left with their friend Cancer.
The general proofreading Hitler's speeches was the original Grammar Nazi.
What's something you can say in church and while having sex?
I come in the name of the Lord.
How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two, one to light up the room with space lasers so the other can see, and one to screw it in.
What did the blind kid say after receiving a cheese grater for Christmas?
"This is the most violent book I’ve ever read."