The jokes
Yo mama's so dumb, she trips over the wireless internet.
It's sad when you sit around waiting for mom to make dinner, and then you realize you are the mom.
Why did the baby strawberry cry? Because his mom was in a jam!
If you ever think no one cares about you,
kill someone, then the news will.
"I work with animals," the guy says to his Tinder date.
"That's so sweet," she replies. "I like a man who loves animals. Where do you work?"
"I'm a butcher," he says.
"What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?
One weighs a ton, and the other is a little lighter!"
When Chuck Norris breaks a mirror, the mirror gets 7 years of bad luck.
Chuck Norris met God once. Now God is the puny human.
Me: If my face looked like yours, I would sue my parents.
Sensei: That’s funny, because when your parents dropped you off at the temple, they got a fine for littering.
Cop: Hehe, that’s funny because I gave them the fine!
What did the hijackers say when they crashed into the Twin Towers?
"Jenga!"
What did Michael Jackson say to the kid sitting on his lap?
"Just beat it."
Person: Did you hear about the black chick on the front of the bus?
Friend: No?
Person: Exactly.
Fun fact: this category of jokes is the MOST hated one by feminists.
Unless you force them the point.
What is the difference between an orphan and Pokemon?
People choose Pokemon.
I saw your mom at work the other night. She was talking about how good she was doing.
Hands down, best $20 blowjob ever.
A Chinese, Japanese, South Korean, and North Korean all walk into a bar.
The Landlord says, "Why the same faces, lads?"
Today, me and my best friend went to the Grand Canyon. He was taking up all the space by the edge, and I told him to back up. R.I.P. to him.
This is not a joke, but if your uncle tells you, "Bend over, touch your toes, I'll show you where the monster goes," don't do it, hehehehehe.
What's the difference between Derek Boogaard and Kurt Cobain? Nothing, they were both fucked in the brain when they died.
What hit the ground first, a feather or the emo kid?
The feather, because the emo kid was left hanging.