The jokes
Did you hear about the man who swallowed his watch?
He went to the doctor hoping he could give him something to help pass the time.
Why did the chicken cross the road? To run from poachers.
What's the difference between you and me? You're not strangling a man with a cloak on.
What's the difference between me and my best friends?
At least one of us has a house.
What’s a cow’s favorite piece of furniture?
The cowch (couch).
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Heehheehehehehehehe
To get to the other side. Ahaahahahahahahahahahahaa!
If you ever get mad at an orphan, punch them in the face... What are they going to do, tell their parents?
What is the difference between a small child and a watermelon?
One I eat on the daily and the other is a watermelon.
A girl named Ranch went to the store and stayed there. Why? Because she was ranched!
What's the difference between my dad and milk? There is no difference; they both left.
What’s one thing Obama proved during his presidency?
No matter how far a brotha gets in life, he’s still going to have the cops on his back.
Who is the most horny and fat ass god?
Kim Jung Un.
If you're reading this, you are Nickel and Gallium......
Ni- ........*something else in between the two halves*................Ga
YOU FUCKING MONKEYS!
Why did the cookie cry?
Because its mom was a wafer too long!
Which school supply is king of the classroom? A ruler.
My grandma has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the zoo.
"Did you hear about the flasher who exposed himself to two elderly ladies in Central Park? One had a stroke. The other couldn’t quite reach."
"A priest, an imam, and a rabbit walk into a clinic to donate blood. The rabbit turns to the nurse and says, 'I think I'm a Type-O!'"
I don't want to brag, I finished the puzzle in under a week, and it said 2-4 years on the box.
What’s the difference between a pickpocket and a peeping tom?
One snatches your watch. The other watches your snatch.