The jokes
My uncle got really badly burned the other day.
They don't fuck around at the crematorium.
Me: I fucked your mom.
Orphan: I don't have a mom so you fucked the air.
What did the fish say to the other fish?
"I want my life to be H2O-ver!"
Why did the orphan have an iPhone X? Because it didn't have the home button.
People's music when friends are around: *rock*
When they are gone: "Come on, vamanos, everybody let's go!"
Memes
What part in the body does an adult not need but actually needs to live?
A KIDNey!
What was the first animal in space?
The cow that jumped over the moon!
How did the coke seller react when someone told him a joke?
He CRACKed up.
Why did the tangerine copy off other people's work?
Because the tangerine was unORANGEinal!
Why did the boy drop his ice cream?
Because he got hit by a truck.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Europe.
Europe who?
No, I'm not a poo, you're a poo.
What did the teacher say to the fat Turkish kid that always ate in his class?
"You could do with Ramadan lasting all year, couldn't you?"
Why does an orphan have to go to church? Because that's the only way he can pray for a father.
Why did the orphan get an iPhone X? Because there's no home button.
Why can't blind people have a seafood diet?
They have to see food to eat.
Who are the fastest readers in the world?
9/11 victims, they went through 42 stories in 7 seconds.
Why did the duck get arrested? Because he was selling quack.
What did the vegetable say to the other before the fight?
Time to beet your maker.
Knock knock.
- Who's there?
- The doorbell repairer.
How did the Skeleton know it was gonna rain?
He read the weather forecast.
Cremation, the last chance to have a smoking hot body.