The jokes

Michael J. Fox walks into an ice cream parlor.

The man behind the counter asks Michael, "Can I help you?"

Michael exclaims, "I would like an ice cream."

The man behind the counter asks, "What flavor?"

Michael says, "It doesn't matter what flavor, I'm gonna fucken drop it anyway."

What's the difference between a blowjob and cough syrup?

They can both give you relief and make you gag at the same time.

Yo mama so fat that the weighing scale said, "To be continued..."

What is the most favorite coffee brand of feminists? Taster's Choice!

True fact: School shooters aren’t dangerous to you if you're the school shooter.

Why did the turkey cross the road?

It was the chicken's day off!

What did the South Tower ask the North Tower?

A man walks into his bedroom where his wife is carrying a sheep under her arm and says, "This is the pig I've been fucking."

Wife says, "That's not a pig; that's a sheep, dumbass."

Husband says, "I was talking to the sheep."

Bye, I'm Paul Badman. Did you know that you don't have rights? The Articles of Confederation say you don't, and so do I. I believe that until proven innocent, every woman, man, and adult in this country is guilty. And that's why I don't fight for you, Santa Fe!

"If you yeet one thing that has been yoted, the yeet gods will help you" - Chris Tyson, MrBeast's friend, and your mom >:)

I'm emo, by the way.

George Floyd is the fresh prince of no air

An Emo walked up to a tree and put his hand up for a high-five.

But the tree left him hanging.

I'm so glad I am not gay. It seems like a pain in the ass.

LOL.

My friend was in Afghanistan when he saw someone got shot, and then they bombed him. Now he called them the "Talkwakers."

If you’re American when you go in the bathroom...

... and American when you come out, what are you in the bathroom?

European.

If Bruce Willis (the guy in the Christmas movie Die Hard) dies of a Viagra overdose, would that mean he truly dies hard?

What do a 100-year-old pornstar and The White Stripes have in common? Icky Thump!

Why did your daddy not come back with the milk?

Because you have no dad because your dad never loved you.

If you can't stand the heat, sit!