The jokes

Mama

Yo mama is so ugly, they tried to get her to act the part for Godzilla!

Plane

(The plane) we can’t go over it, we can’t go under it. Oh no, we have to go through it.

Mama

Yo mama so fat that when she went to the fatty competition, they said no because they didn't want professionals.

(Just a joke, she's probably kind.)

Shower

Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth, then it's a soap opera.

Mum

Sam's mum is so fat, when she fell down the stairs, I thought EastEnders finished!

Horse

A man tried to tame a horse, but always failed. The news spread around town that this man couldn’t tame one single horse.

One day, the man went to a bar, where a fairly old man sat next to him. “Well partner!” He began. “I guess your dream horse is more of a NIGHT-MARE!”

God

The dear God created the man.

Then he created woman.

When he then saw what he had done, he took care of tobacco and alcohol.

Yo mama

Yo mama so fat, when she decides to workout, the stock market goes bankrupt.

Wheelchair

My friend in a wheelchair is autistic and tried to fight me, so I said: "If you wanna fight me, I'll run up the stairs, and by the time you get up the stairs, I'll already be down the stairs waiting," and he started crying.

Difference

What's the difference between red wings and old cassette tape players?

One eats tape while the other eats pussy.

Cat

"Hey Kels, what's on your arm?"

"Oh, that was the cat."

"We don't have a cat..."

"Oh..."

Family

What's the difference between friends and family?

One is actually real.