The jokes
If you drop an emo and a piece of paper out of a tree, you know what will hit the floor first? The paper, because the rope will stop the emo.
Why does the Queen play poker on the toilet?
Because she always gets a Royal flush!
Q: What is found deep inside of us, and the more we express our love for each other the more it spreads throughout the world?
A: Covid.
I’m going to reenact the ending of Saw (2004), except I won’t stand up and shut the door.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
An apple has a family tree.
I wasn't going to visit my family this December, but my mom promised to make me Eggs Benedict. So I'm going home for the hollandaise.
Why did the cop ask the orphan if he was home alone?
The orphan said because my parents have never come back yet because I have none.
Why can't you get water in the North Pole?
Because there is no well.
What did the lady say when she sat on Pinocchio's face:
"Tell a truth, tell a lie, tell a truth, tell a lie, tell a truth!"
What meme does an Emo hate the most?
"Happy Happy Joy Joy" Peter Griffin.
What's the hardest part about making vegetable stew?
Trying to get the wheelchair to fit into the pot.
I met a baseball player, so I told him to make a home run, and he just looked at me with sadness. I don't know why.
By the way, he was an orphan.
What's the difference between an orphan and a trash bag?
At least the trash bag gets picked.
I called the suicide hotline in Afghanistan, and they got excited and asked if I could drive a B-52.
The best football game was the Jets against the Twin Towers.
I saw a girl crying. I told her, "Where are your parents?" She cried more after that. I got kicked out of the orphanage.
Two scientists walk into a bar. The first one says: "I'll have some H2O."
The second one says: "I'll have some H2O, too." And then he died.
The cure for depression is around the corner... There it is, the train.
Doesn't having depersonalization mean that you're like the animatronics off of FNAF/Five Nights at Freddy's?
(If you don't know what depersonalization is, look it up.)
Jack and Jill went up a hill to do it in the water.
Jack slipped, his condom ripped, and now they have a daughter.