New That Jokes - Page 82 - Worst Jokes Ever

What do you call an alligator that can't get hard? A reptile dysfunction.

Your hairline is so far back that my father couldn't even reach the store in time before it grew!

You're so fat that when you go on a walk with your friends, it looks like they are orbiting you.

What did Eve say to Adam?

"That is rock hard."

What do you call a white guy with a 10 inch cock?

Asleep. Because that motherfucker's dreaming.

POV: Wine Taster in hell.

I was sitting with the best wine ever made on the table in front of me. This silhouette begins to speak, "You have risen to be the most superb Wine Taster on Earth. Then you got run over by a truck hauling freshly made wine to a warehouse. Your crimes are as follows: you left your high school prom date with another man after you got her pregnant, you let your mother believe that the cat ran away after you drowned it in the pool, and you never got married. How do you plead?"

The man looked at the silhouette like it was a purple rabbit.

"Guilty," said the man, "but if you would be so kind would you at least tell me what the wine in front of me tastes and smells like? I will take any punishment you deem fit."

"Very well," said the silhouette, "but you will regret that request."

Out of the shadows comes a boy only looking 19 years old. The boy says, "I will you taster today. I am confident about my sense of taste." The boy takes the first bottle and opens it, pours it into a wine glass, and swirls it around. He then takes a sniff and begins to drink, to the Wine Taster he says, "Mmmm, taste like chicken."

I asked, "Mom, what's that in the sky?"

Mom replied with, "That's your father."

"what's that on your wrist?"

"I'm a cutting board. duh"

You got the whole crowd of people laughing when looking at you.

That face needing some laughing pills.

badminton: your breath is so BAD that you have to take a MINT before you go ON fortnite

by john rizk

Badminton: Your breath is so bad that you have to take a mint before you go on Fortnite.

Did you know that in 2001 there was an Among Us game, except that it was on a plane and had two imposters.

My friend asked, "What's that on your arm?" I replied, "Oh, this? I didn't have enough storage on my phone to download Fruit Ninja so I had to improvise a little bit."

Chuck Norris once said that he didn't like the plane he was riding in. Out of sadness, the plane committed suicide. How, you ask? Ask the Twin Towers.

Alfonso's mom is so fat that she stepped on the scale and the doctor said, "Oh shit, that's my phone number!"

Why are the Twin Towers and genders so similar?

Because there used to be two of them, but it's offensive to joke about that now.

One thing that Johnny Depp and Michael Jackson love to do? Sniff on little white crack.

Men and women are not equal, speaking biologically and mentally. I don't care what other feminists say. Men are naturally physically stronger, while women are more mentally stable (sometimes). The internet and the media will lie. You feminists say that you are stronger. Well, you wish. You can't hit a girl because she is more sensitive, but she says she is stronger. Like, what the hell?

We're not sexist men; you're sexist women. And BTW, you'll rot in hell for hating God's creation. And also, men were created before women. Search it up in the Bible or online.

My fat friend went to the doctor because he wanted to know his blood type. After performing some tests, the doctor said, "Well, the test results have shown that your blood type is ragu."