Test jokes
Once upon a time, fraternal twins, brother and sister, with almost 100% equal DNA were separated at birth. At the age of 42, they were married, had 2 sons and 2 daughters. They took an ancestryDNA test, and the results were scientifically sexually shocking.
A woman walks into a doctor's office. She schedules an appointment and sits down in the waiting room. When it's her turn to talk to the doctor, she describes all of her symptoms, and they're unlike anything he's heard before. The doctor runs a few tests and steps out of the room. He comes back later, and says, "Well, I have good news and bad news." The woman says, "I'll hear the good news first please." The doctor replies, "The good news is we're naming a disease after you!"
What did the fish get on his math test?
A sea plus.
When you start sweating after filling in "C" for the third time in a row.
My happiest moment in life was getting a positive grade on my H.I.V. test without studying.
I aced my poker test...
My teacher asked me to reflect on my work, so I got a mirror...
A caffeinated vampire goes to sleep in a coffin...
Do you get my puns? No, because you can't seem to get a grasp on how bad they are...
How many orphans does it take to "test drive" a bus? It depends on how much space the orphanage has and how much space the cemetery has.
Three citizens were going through an exam to become agents of the FBI. Their instructor handed the first guy a gun in a room with his wife and said he had to shoot her. He walked out in shame and said he couldn't do it. The second guy had the same scenario. He put the gun up, but couldn't pull the trigger, so he walked out in shame. The third guy was put in the same scenario. He walked out and told the instructor, "The gun wasn't loaded, I had to strangle the bitch."
My friend says, "Time flies when having fun," so when he was gaming, I threw his clock to test that theory.
As a doctor myself, that nurse was very slow, she tested my patience!
I needed a test on if I'm pregnant. Then the doc said, "Take your pants down." Then he put his penis in my vagina and said, "Now you are pregnant."
Why did the leper fail his driving test?
He left his foot on the clutch.
The retards take the ancestry tests at 24andMe.com.
One time this kid came back from school and said, "Mom I have one good news and one bad news, which one do you wanna hear first?" And his mom said, "Good news please," and the boy said, "I got 100% on my math test today." and his mom gave him a hug, and the boy said, "Now to the bad news, I LIED!"
Me: I bombed the 2 tests yesterday.
Friend: What were the tests about?
Me: Japan.
The son margarine shows his father his test that he failed.
Father: Son, you can do butter!
A recent study has found that beer contains female hormones.
A test group of 100 male volunteers each consumed six pints of beer, and the effect was they all talked endlessly about nothing and couldnāt drive for shit.
What was the one test that Steven Hawking couldn't pass?
reCAPTCHA
Asian pregnancy test: Stick a Rubik cube into vagina. Wait 30 seconds, if it's solved then there's a little Asian in there.
Sara's Mom was helping her prepare for her driver's test.
Mom: "Okay, any questions?"
Sara: "Yes. I actually don't know what "yield" means."
Mom: "Don't worry, Hon. No one does."