Once there were twins, Mark and Michael, Mark was the owner of a old boat. It so happened that Michael's wife died the same day that Mark's boat sank. A few days later, a kindly old woman saw Mark and mistook him for Michael. She said, "I'm sorry to hear about your loss. You must just feel terrible. "Mark, thinking that she was talking about his boat, said, "Heck no. In fact, I'm sort of glad to be rid of her. She was a rotten old thing right from the beginning. Her bottom was all shrivelled up and she smelled like old dead fish. She was always losing her water; she had a bad crack in the back and a pretty big hole in the front too. Every time I used her, her hole got bigger and she leaked like crazy. I guess what finally finished her off was when I rented her to these four guys looking for a good time. I warned them that she wasn't very good, but they wanted to use her anyhow. The fools tried to get in her all at once and she split right up the middle!" The old lady fainted. 🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂
It’s the World Cup Final, and a man makes his way to his seat right next to the pitch. He sits down, noticing that the seat next to him is empty. He leans over and asks his neighbor if someone will be sitting there. ‘No,’ says the neighbor. ‘The seat is empty.’ ‘This is incredible,’ said the man. ‘Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Final and not use it?’ The neighbor says, ‘Well actually the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first World Cup Final we haven’t been to together since we got married.’ ‘Oh, I’m so sorry to hear that. That’s terrible....But couldn’t you find someone else, a friend, relative or even a neighbor to take her seat?’ The man shakes his head. ‘No,’ he says. ‘They’re all at the funeral.’
Why are orphans terrible at baseball they never get home runs
Why do asses make terrible spies?
Because they always CRACK under pressure
Me:you have terrible jokes Mum:shows me a mirror
WHAT DO YOU CALL A TERRIBLE BUS COMPANY?
STAGECOACH HIGHLANDS
Why do orphans make terrible baseball players?
They don't know where home plate is.
Son:mom can i tell you something?
Mom:yes of course honey whats up?
Son:ok U HAVE TERRIBLE JOKES THERE NOT EVEN FUNNY
MOm:well i made you
Two TV antennas got married. The church ceremony was terrible, but the reception was fantastic!
What's terrible? Three dead babies nailed to one tree. What's worse than that? One dead baby nailed to three trees.
What does Jim Kelly and Dick Cheney have in common? They both make terrible hunters
Stevie Wonder is a terrible father
He never sees his kids
Friend: Slavery isnt good Other friend: Yea its terrible Me: shut up and get me a juice
Three nuns are on their way up to heaven after having been involved in a terrible minibus crash on the Italian Alps that killed them and the driver (he went the other direction!) As they're approaching the Pearly Gates to be interview by St. Peter, they are requested by an attendant to form a single line and wait. Sister Agnes is first, Sister Bernadette behind her and Sister Carmel on the end. Finally, St. Peter approaches the nuns to determine their worthiness for entry to Heaven. He says to the first nun : "Sister Agnes, have you ever seen the penis of a man"? Sister Agnes bursts into tears and says : Yes, St. Peter, I have, but please don't let this prevent me from entering the Kingdom of Heaven". St. Peter says : "Never fear, my child. Say a thousand Hail Marys and then go over to that font of Holy Water and wash your eyes out, then you shall enter the Kingdom of Heaven". Sister Carmel sees what's going on and taps Sister Bernadette on the shoulder, somewhat urgently. "Pssst - hey Bernie"!, she says. Sister Bernadette asks : "What is it?" A little annoyed. Sister Carmel says : "Do you mind if we swap places"? Sister Bernadette replies : "What for"? Sister Carmel says : "Well, I wouldn't mind gargling before you stick your ass in there"!
Want to hear a paper joke
Never mind it’s to terrible
"One man's trash is another man's treasure." It's a wonderful phrase, but a terrible way to find out your adopted :)
According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way that Keagans Fifa team should be this terrible, also the problem is that Keagan is a Real Madrid fan
what bee is terrible at flying kobee
Mom why was I adopted? Because people are terrible and that’s how the world works son! Ok dad the world is TERRIBLE
What do u call a guy in a wheelchair playing soccer
Rocket league! (Ali A Intro) I like men Wanna smash? Suck my balls Im in class as I'm posting this ass joke This joke sucks terribly Honestly just like and leave Add me on discord IceyTrae#2230 Lebron>MJ
