Temperature

Temperature Jokes

Hotel

My hotel tried to charge me ten dollars extra for air conditioning. That wasn’t cool.

Corner

If your house is cold, just stand in the corner. It's always 90 degrees there.

Butt

How do butts stay cool in the summer?

They stay in crack conditioning.

Woman

Why is it that skinny men love fat women?

Because we need warmth in the winter and shade in the summer.

Corpse

How are corpses like pools?

Once you get in, it's only cold for like a minute.

Rapper

How does a rapper greet someone on a cold day?

"Yo, is the temperature Ice Cube, or Vanilla Ice?"

Cold

What is faster, hot or cold?

Hot, because you can catch a cold.

Cold

Which is faster, hot or cold?

Hot, because you can catch cold.

Man

What do you call a Chinese man in the summer heat? Boi Ling.

Car

I hate when people leave their cars running, especially in the summer.

I'm like, "You got Tracy Latimer in there or something?"

Ex

The only thing colder than Siberia is my girlfriend's ex!

Camel

The little camel asks his mother: "Mum, why do we have these big humps?"

"Because in these humps there is some water, and in the hot desert we can drink."

"And Mum, why do we have this large fur?"

"Because the desert at night is so cold, and then we don’t feel cold."

"And Mum, why do we got these big hoofs?"

"Because the desert sand is hot, and the hoofs save us from the hot sand."

"But Mum, what the fuck are we doing here in the national zoo?"