How can you tell Donald Trump is old and demented?
He can't distinguish between tanned people and cockroaches!
What’s the difference between a cancer patient and a British news reporter in the South?
They usually don’t live to tell the tale.
It's telling that Ye gets more offended when he's called a gayfish than a Nazi.
The USA guaranteeing freedom of speech is the biggest joke I've heard... Tell that to the people who were almost killed because their cars had "NASCAR Sucks" and "Country and Western is rubbish" on them!
It's easy to tell if a skeleton is lying to you because you can see right through them.
If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?
When I was a kid, my father would tell me that the black Santa Claus was coming to our house for Christmas. So, instead of putting out cookies and milk, we would put out cornbread and purple Kool-Aid.
So, there's a black guy, a white guy, and a Mexican. They find a genie's lamp, they rub it, and poof! Appears the genie!
The genie goes to the black guy and asks, "What's your one wish?" The black guy goes, "I wish for me and all my people to be back in Africa, happy and everything." So poof! His wish is granted.
Then, the genie goes to the Mexican and asks, "What's your one wish?" The Mexican goes, "I wish for me and all my people to be in Mexico, happy and everything." So poof! His wish is granted.
Now, the genie goes over to the white guy and asks, "What's your one wish?" and the white guy asks, "You mean to tell me that all the black and Mexican people are out of America?" The genie replies, "Yes."
The white guy goes, "Then I'll have a Coke."
Adam and Eve are wondering whether they are black or white. Eve says, "Why don't you go and ask God?"
So Adam goes into the Garden of Eden and shouts out to God, "Are we black or white?" A big booming voice bellows out, "You are what you are."
He immediately goes back to Eve and tells her that they are white. "How do you know?" asks Eve. "Because he said, 'You are what you are,'" Adam replied. "Why does that mean we are white?" asked Eve. "Because if we were black, He would have said, 'You is what you is.'"
How can a person from Alabama tell that someone is an illegal immigrant?
If they are dating someone that isn't related to them.
This is not a joke, but if your uncle tells you, "Bend over, touch your toes, I'll show you where the monster goes," don't do it, hehehehehe.
A guy on a bus saw a beautiful girl. He asked for her number, and of course, she said no. He asked the bus driver for advice, and he said, "That girl goes to the cemetery to pray every day at 10 p.m. and look for a statue of an angel." So he dresses up as God, goes to the grave, and she sees him. She says, "Oh, Lord, end my misery! Kill me now!" And he said, "Only if you do something for me first." She replied, "What is it, oh mighty Lord?" He said, "Have sex with me." She agreed. They had sex, and when she was done sucking his dick, he said, "I have something to tell you." He took off his costume and said, "I'm the guy from the bus." And she took off her costume: "I'm the bus driver."
(Does anyone remember this? It's an old joke someone made, or does no one remember this? I didn't make this, but it went smth like this)
I would tell a 9/11 joke, but it would probably go up in flames.
Why don't rappers tell secrets?
Because they always spill the BEATS
Why'd Biden get fired from the supermarket?
He kept telling little kids they smell like freshly baked bread.
What do you call a booty that tells jokes?
A crack-up!
Me traveling back in time to tell Americans there will be a big tsunami on 9/11/2001, and to survive it they have to climb the two tallest buildings in New York.
A black lady goes inside the drug store and asks the pharmacist, "Do you carry tampons?" Then the pharmacist asks the black lady, "Do you want the mini pads or the maxi pads?"
And then the black lady asks the pharmacist, "What is the difference?"
And then the pharmacist asks the black lady, "What is your flow like?"
And then the black lady tells the pharmacist, "Linoleum."
A blind kid was talking to me because he was getting bullied...
I told him, "Just tell them what you see!"
I used to believe everything in the Bible until I read about the Jew giving out the free fish.
