A man walks into a bar. Sits down and asks the bartender for 12 shots of vodka. The bartender asks what the man is celebrating for and said he'll give one shot on the house. The man said I celebrating my first blowjob. And nah if 12 shots doesn't get the taste out of my mouth nothing will.
A blind man went to a restaurant.
menu sir? asked the owner. I'm blind, just bring me one of your dirty forks, I will smell it and order. The confused owner went to the kitchen to retrieve a fork, and returned to the blind man. The blind man smelled the fork with a deep breath, yes I will have the lamb with seasoned potatoes and spring vegetables. Unbelievable, thought the owner. The blind man ate and left. Two weeks later the blind man returned. The owner, wanting to know how good his smell is, quickly went to the kitchen where his wife Brenda was cooking and said, do me a favor and rub this fork over your private part which she did. He then goes to the blind man and gives him the fork. The blind man takes it and puts it to his nose and says, oh interesting! I never knew Brenda works here!
a girl walks up to her dad to ask for a dress for prom and he says suck my dick and ill buy you a dress and she does it and says to him dad your Dick tastes like shit and he says yeah your brother wanted a car
How does an Alabama mother know when her daughter is on her period? She can taste the blood off her son’s cock!
yo momma titty milk taste like captain crunch
The pie tasted weird today. Then I realized that my mother likes cooking pie WITH human flesh from C town.
Did you know that chpis taste like the baked potato in things called bags of chips
How did the priest know the nun was on her period? He tasted blood on the altar boy's cock.
Does anyone else here eat pretzels with nutella? It tastes AMAZINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
Son: mom, is it possible to make a strawberry cake for me ?
Mom: no that's impossible
Son: but it is possible for your secret boyfriend right
Mom: no no please don't tell your dad i will make a strawberry cake for you
Son: daddy has already tasted your sweet strawberry cake so because of that i felt jealous ^_^
👌😂😂😂
Cindy goes up to her dad and says: "Daddy, can I have $100 for a new dress?" Her dad almost gags and says: "$100! You're only 12, what do you want with such an expensive dress?" Cindy says: "Well daddy, I'll look really pretty in it and I promise to look after it ..." Dad gives in and says: "OK, give me a head-job then". He flops it out and Cindy just get the end in her mouth and goes: "Eeee-yooo - that taste's like shit!" Dad goes: "Well, your brother wanted to borrow the car this afternoon ..."
The other day while I was going down on my grandma , I thought I tasted a little horse semen and I got to wondering if maybe that’s what killed her !!!!!
I know you don't like me, and that implies you need better taste.
I'm no an astronomer, but I'm pretty sure the Earth revolves around the sun... not you.
I'd give you a nasty look, but it seems like you've already got one.
Your birth certificate should be rewritten as a letter of apology
You haven't changed since the last time I saw you. You really should.
I ate a baby, it tasted like baby
Why did Hitler's cookies taste bad? He forgot to clean out the oven.
Why do catholic priest suck on the cock of a young boy in his parish? because it taste like a vienna sausage
My indian wife said last night if her fanny would taste like vindaloo curry, i said ive smelt your fucking armpits youve got no chance
your mom said my cum tastes like captain crunch bitch
Daughter: Hey Dad, can I use your car? Dad: Sure, but first you have to give me a blow job" Daughter: Okay, (proceeds to service dad), Dad, Ewww, your dick tastes like shite!" Dad: Oh that's right, I lent your brother the car
alirght im gonna drink the lo- carb one to see how it compares to the normal monster. holy shit it tastes just like the original one. theres like a weird afer taste though. kinda like a sparkling water one. i love monster ive drank about 5 cans already
