Why do gay men hate periods?
They prefer Collins.
Why do vegans like to make their food look and taste like meat?
Same reason lesbians use strap-ons. They still like putting meat in their hole, but they don’t like where real meat comes from.
What does an 80-year-old woman taste like?
Depends.
Me: Hey friend!
Friend: Yes?
Me: What is the missing sense? Seeing, smelling, _, tasting, hearing.
Friend: Touch.
Me: What do you spawn on Minecraft always? (jk only 99.99%)
Friend: Grass.
Me: And you get?
Friend: Touch grass.
Little Sally comes home from school one day and says to her mom, "Mommy, mommy, you won’t believe it! Little Johnny just pulled out his PP in class." The mother responded, "Well, what did it look like?" Sally said, "It looks like a peanut." The mother said, "Oh, it was small." "No, it was salty," said Sally.
I would tell you a joke about a slice of pizza, but it's really... cheesy. I donut think you will come up with a better pun than this.
Dead baby jokes never get old...
Like this post if you think pineapple belongs on pizza.
Me and my friends were having a party the other day when some bitch came bitching about the noise. Thankfully, she was hot and had a nice ass, so it was enjoyable raping her.
The next day when I woke up, I found her body only half eaten. Her lower body was still intact, so I went for seconds to fuck off the hangover. Then I had breakfast. Her ass tasted good with some ketchup.
Dark humor is like food: Not everybody gets it.
I like my women like I like my chocolate.
Edible.
Anyone who says they don't like cats has never had one cooked right...
I like my women like I like my coffee: nice, fresh, and dead.
I like my women like I like my coffee.
Without other people's dicks in it.
What is the difference between peanut butter and a dead baby? One sticks to the roof of your mouth, while the other one doesn't!
I like CHEESE!
I like my girls like my coffee: Flat and white.
Random couple after their first night:
Husband: It was very tasty. 🥵
Wife: Aww, thanks.
Husband: Does anyone had taste it before?
Wife: ☠️
SOOOO my sister said her first bad word yesterday. "Shit." My mum was like, "What did you just say, child?"
Sister: "I said the cat shits inside like the dog shi- uh oh......"
Now I've avoided this stuff by making my own word: Sugarplum. Sugarplum = shit...
My sister made some pie, and it tasted horribly... so I said this.... "This pie is very sugarplum-y." She said, "What do you mean by that?" I said, "It tastes like sugarplums..."
I like my women like I like my steak...
Bloody.
