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Taste

Taste jokes

Friend: Your t-shirt is cringe.

Me: You should go get the Covid test because one of their symptoms is no taste.

The wine taster at an old vineyard died. A homeless guy, looking ragged and dirty, came to apply. He persuaded the manager to give him a try.

The guy was given a glass of wine. He swirled, smelled, sipped, and spit. “It's a red wine, Merlot, three years old, grown on the South Slope and matured in oak barrels,” he said. "Impressive," said the manager.

The man is given another. “Still a red wine, Cabernet, eight years old, from the Northeast slope, stored in steel vats.”

The manager was amazed. He winked at his secretary. The secretary understood and brought out a glass of urine. The drunkard tasted it and said, “It's a blond, 27 years old, three months pregnant, and if I don't get this job, I'll tell who the father is!”

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    • My Indian wife said last night if her fanny would taste like vindaloo curry, I said I've smelt your fucking armpits, you've got no chance.

    A blind woman told her husband someone is coming. He asks how do you know, you can't see. She replies, "I can taste it."

    (True story)

    One day Sally's mom said, "I can just eat you up!" And Sally says, "No, you can't!" Then the mom asks why and Sally says, "Because I'm a beaner, and we don't taste good."

    So little Susie came home and said, "Mom, little Johnny showed me his pecker."

    And her mom said, "WHAT?!"

    And little Susie was like, "Yeah, it reminded me of a peanut." Her mom said, "Oh, because it was so small?"

    Susie said, "No, because it tasted salty."

    What's the difference between humans and mushrooms? I don't like eating mushrooms.

    1. Are you talking to me because I think you talked to my backside?

    2. Your mom must taste good because it is always in your mouth.

    3. My foot lasts longer than your life.

    A couple were trying new things in the bedroom to spice up their marriage. The husband would blindfold the wife, put on a condom and she would guess the flavor. They did this one time a night.

    The first night, she put the blindfold on and he put the condom on his dick and she tasted it, she immediately knew it was strawberry. The second night, the same thing happened except it was banana. The third night, she put the blindfold on and tasted his dick and said, "Eww it tastes like cheese and onions." The husband replied, "Hang on I haven't put the condom on yet."

    One day, Johnny told his dad that a girl in his class liked him. He thought she was cute. She said, "Aw, you're like candy!" He didn't say anything. He said, "Why don't you think I am sweet like candy?" Little Johnny said, "Well, sometimes I get a toothache, and it hurts, so I stop eating it, like I stopped liking you."